I'm sitting here at 1:22 am...sick and well, awake. I fell sleep for 5 hours today during the day so my sleeping schedule is all whack. I am getting sleep though, along with lots of fluids and vitamin C so hopefully I will get back on my feet soon. My fever has gone away too, so soon enough, I should be back to normal. This is the first time I've been sick without my tonsils and adenoids and I have to say this it is pretty awful. Usually, my tonsils and throat hurts...but without the extra tissue to absorb all of the "sickness", it spread out to my ears, neck, and head. I felt like my head was going to explode. There are far worse things in life though.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how blessed I have been spiritually. I used to think that accountability was something you "got" and "sought" after when you were caught up in sin and were trying to flee. But since I've been in Okinawa, I've learned that it is just something you have as part of your walk with Christ on earth. I have been blessed, immensely, with accountability through Johanna and Calvary Chapel Okinawa. I know God gave me these awesome people in my life but man, how could I thank my God for such amazing people? I know that it is rare. I know that it will not always be this way. I have heard from some of my friends that they are feeling "lonely" or "spiritually disconnected" where they are at. My prayer is that it would soon change for them, and that they find a community of like-minded and spiritually-hearted people. My fear is that when I leave Okinawa, I will lose this sense of family. I've been through spiritual highs and lows but since being here, it's been a spiritual constant. I can't say that it's all because of the people around me but I can say that they have been a big part of it. I don't want to "crash" when we leave this place. I don't want it to be that feeling of emptiness that you get after Christian camp or some revival/convention. I guess that all I can do is have faith. I can continue to seek His face in all circumstances. It's not like life has been a breeze since being here. Actually, it's because of little (and sometimes big) trials that I have felt the need to rely on God even more. With Jamin being gone so often, it's all I can do...rely on God. I figure God must really wanna spend some time with me...he keeps placing my husband in places where I am not. It's hard, but I am safer and better off being near God. I love my husband with so much of me, but when it comes down to it, I love my God more. In fact, the best way to love my husband is to love my God first.
I also thank God for my identity. We all get caught up is such an identity crisis sometimes. Especially us women. Am I thin enough? Am I talented enough? Am I pretty enough? Do I listen to the coolest bands? Do I own the most expensive things? It all makes me so sick! What am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? I'm God's daughter. I'm supposed to Love God and his people. So simply stated yet sometimes so hard to grasp...but thank God there's an answer to these questions that we beat ourselves up with. I am so happy that my identity and worth is not based on my clothing, hair color, and the car I drive. I need to be reminded of this everyday (every 5 minutes even)...that's how annoyingly influential the world is.
I don't really know where I was going with this post. I think that I just wanted to get out that I am thankful and that I give God the glory for all of the good in my life. Thank You God for my family, my friends, and my life.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Transformation
Ok, I guess it's been about a month so I should update. First of all, today was a humbling day. I had an awesome time babysitting the Barnett kids but in the process I scartched/dented my car against their gate and got "chewed" out passive agressively my some woman in the parking lot.
The awesome part was that with each humbling situation, God showed me how much he had been tranforming my heart.
For these past weeks, I have been working on getting rid of "stuff" (two boxes of clothes and 20+pairs of shoes and then some). I have been feeling convicted about how much value I put on "stuff".
So then, God decided to give me an opportunity to "let go" of such "things"... I scratced and dented my car. My stomach dropped, my teeth clenched, my lungs took a deep breathe, but my heart and mind didn't "react". I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I took it, and I was ok. OK...NOT typical Crystal reaction. I usually would have screamed, kicked myself for about 3 days, call myself 50 names, and kicked the gate. But I didn't, and it's going to be ok...really.
I have also been working on my heart and loving others. Putting others before myself and having a humble spirit. This is something I have been working on for years. A woman and I had a misunderstanding in the parking lot and she thought that I "stole" her parking spot. She flipped out when she got out of the car and starting talking very loudly about me to her baby and husband. I went over there and apologized. APOLOGIZED? Praise God! Usually, irrational-confrontation-loving Crystal would have gone over there to chew her out (like I did back in the day to this poor girl and her family...and a handful of other people) Wow...God is good.
All of this is due to my spending time with God and His Word (Praise God again!). I've fallen in Love again with what He has to say and it's been awesome. It's not like I'm dragging my feet anymore. What's even more awesome is that I am learning all over again how to read His Word, meditate on it, listen, and obey. It's not some cheesy legalistic daily verse thing anymore (not that daily verses are bad- the way I did it was bad)...its got depth, and it's transforming.
I've been busy, but a good busy. I have been so blessed leading worship for the Women's Bible Study. It's been so fulfilling, along with playing drums occasionally for the worship team. I just love singing and playing for the Lord. I LOVE it! I also finally got a digital piano and I hope to use that for Him also. PRAISE GOD again, for the billionth time, that my voice is back.
I've also taken up the Children's Ministry and I can feel the enemy already wanting me to feel inadequate. I know that it was needed and I wanted to serve where I was needed. I will miss the worship team on Sundays but am reminded on how it is about Him and where he needs me. He'll guide me where He sees fit.
My prayer is that I will continue to tranform. I know that at these times, the enemy is ready to strike...but seriously, my God is bigger than that.
The awesome part was that with each humbling situation, God showed me how much he had been tranforming my heart.
For these past weeks, I have been working on getting rid of "stuff" (two boxes of clothes and 20+pairs of shoes and then some). I have been feeling convicted about how much value I put on "stuff".
So then, God decided to give me an opportunity to "let go" of such "things"... I scratced and dented my car. My stomach dropped, my teeth clenched, my lungs took a deep breathe, but my heart and mind didn't "react". I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I took it, and I was ok. OK...NOT typical Crystal reaction. I usually would have screamed, kicked myself for about 3 days, call myself 50 names, and kicked the gate. But I didn't, and it's going to be ok...really.
I have also been working on my heart and loving others. Putting others before myself and having a humble spirit. This is something I have been working on for years. A woman and I had a misunderstanding in the parking lot and she thought that I "stole" her parking spot. She flipped out when she got out of the car and starting talking very loudly about me to her baby and husband. I went over there and apologized. APOLOGIZED? Praise God! Usually, irrational-confrontation-loving Crystal would have gone over there to chew her out (like I did back in the day to this poor girl and her family...and a handful of other people) Wow...God is good.
All of this is due to my spending time with God and His Word (Praise God again!). I've fallen in Love again with what He has to say and it's been awesome. It's not like I'm dragging my feet anymore. What's even more awesome is that I am learning all over again how to read His Word, meditate on it, listen, and obey. It's not some cheesy legalistic daily verse thing anymore (not that daily verses are bad- the way I did it was bad)...its got depth, and it's transforming.
I've been busy, but a good busy. I have been so blessed leading worship for the Women's Bible Study. It's been so fulfilling, along with playing drums occasionally for the worship team. I just love singing and playing for the Lord. I LOVE it! I also finally got a digital piano and I hope to use that for Him also. PRAISE GOD again, for the billionth time, that my voice is back.
I've also taken up the Children's Ministry and I can feel the enemy already wanting me to feel inadequate. I know that it was needed and I wanted to serve where I was needed. I will miss the worship team on Sundays but am reminded on how it is about Him and where he needs me. He'll guide me where He sees fit.
My prayer is that I will continue to tranform. I know that at these times, the enemy is ready to strike...but seriously, my God is bigger than that.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Strength and Weakness
It's been awhile. What have I been up to? Traveling Asia and growing in the Lord. Since deciding not to work this year, I've gone thru much needed surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids which has fixed my voice problem. I've gone back to singing and leading worship at church. I also picked up playing the cajon which is soooo fun. I've read a few good books, In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, which has changed my view of food, What's the Difference?: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible by John Piper which has helped me understand myself as God's daughter, and I'm currently reading Hebrews, which is speaking so loudly to me about faith and how mighty God is, Crazy Love By Francis Chan, which is helping me to turly live for Christ, and Hard Sayings of Paul by Manfred Brauch and The Problem of Painby C.S. Lewis are my bathroom books. :) We'll see if I finish those...they are random...I know. I don't often read...but this has been nice.
I've been very weak (physically/emotionally) this week from getting a stomach infection and dealing with other things but I have never felt so strong (spiritually/mentally) in my life. I don't know how long I will be in this state but I know that I want to be here for long time. I haven't desired things for a while. When I say "things"...I mean stuff...junk...something to make myself better than the rest...something to fill me temporarily. I think, that I am finally getting an understanding on my identity in Christ. I don't feel like I have to answer to anyone but Christ and it feels good...better than good...it feels best. I don't "need" this or that to feel "fullfilled". I have a purpose...and that's being God's daughter and servant. Really, when it comes down to it...that's it. For so long I felt like I needed a degree or a title like, "wife", "mom", "teacher", "musician", "artist", to be significant. But those titles are nothing...if I give them the power to determine who I am, I have taken away title of what God has ALREADY, with a huge price, given me. I'm sick of comparing myself to others and trying to please others.
I would not have had this realization had it not been for a lot of pain that I don't want to go into. I pray that I don't forget what I have written and realized. I praise God that He is truly strong when we are weak.
On a lighter note, I hope to climb Mt. Fuji next week. This should be a test for me. I hope to see God in my journey to the top. After this trip, it'll be back to cleaning house and prayerfully picking up and helping with Children's ministry. I also have a few Sundays where I am leading worship and I need to get those sets together. It's been a long time and I pray that I don't put myself before God in any of it. I am excited to see what God is going to do this year...He's done so much already! Jamin and I are praying where God will have us after Okinawa...perhaps we'll know for sure soon. Jamin will be gone a lot with Afghanistan and I'm starting to realize that by the time he gets back, and we're leaving Oki...it may be Spring 2011...and I'll be turning 28 that year with no little Bailey's running around. I seriously thought I'd be a mom at like, 23. We'll see where that goes. My future seems really colorful, mysterious, and chaotic. I guess that's ok...it'll have to be if I'm going to trust God.
I've been very weak (physically/emotionally) this week from getting a stomach infection and dealing with other things but I have never felt so strong (spiritually/mentally) in my life. I don't know how long I will be in this state but I know that I want to be here for long time. I haven't desired things for a while. When I say "things"...I mean stuff...junk...something to make myself better than the rest...something to fill me temporarily. I think, that I am finally getting an understanding on my identity in Christ. I don't feel like I have to answer to anyone but Christ and it feels good...better than good...it feels best. I don't "need" this or that to feel "fullfilled". I have a purpose...and that's being God's daughter and servant. Really, when it comes down to it...that's it. For so long I felt like I needed a degree or a title like, "wife", "mom", "teacher", "musician", "artist", to be significant. But those titles are nothing...if I give them the power to determine who I am, I have taken away title of what God has ALREADY, with a huge price, given me. I'm sick of comparing myself to others and trying to please others.
I would not have had this realization had it not been for a lot of pain that I don't want to go into. I pray that I don't forget what I have written and realized. I praise God that He is truly strong when we are weak.
On a lighter note, I hope to climb Mt. Fuji next week. This should be a test for me. I hope to see God in my journey to the top. After this trip, it'll be back to cleaning house and prayerfully picking up and helping with Children's ministry. I also have a few Sundays where I am leading worship and I need to get those sets together. It's been a long time and I pray that I don't put myself before God in any of it. I am excited to see what God is going to do this year...He's done so much already! Jamin and I are praying where God will have us after Okinawa...perhaps we'll know for sure soon. Jamin will be gone a lot with Afghanistan and I'm starting to realize that by the time he gets back, and we're leaving Oki...it may be Spring 2011...and I'll be turning 28 that year with no little Bailey's running around. I seriously thought I'd be a mom at like, 23. We'll see where that goes. My future seems really colorful, mysterious, and chaotic. I guess that's ok...it'll have to be if I'm going to trust God.
Monday, February 9, 2009
I Know, it has been FOREVER.
A random list:
I don't know why I am blogging...I guess I just wanted to get back to it and record some of my praises. (We'll see how long it lasts)
I had a very blessed day today. Johanna and I had a nice dinner and got a soothing pedicure at this nail salon...something we both needed after a weekend of writing report cards.
I am doing pretty well...God is so good to me and blessing me each day. I have really been blessed by the people like Johanna. She loves the Lord, loves clear communication, and is crazy, wicked, fun. It is one beautiful relationship.
I miss Jamin a lot...I love that boy so stinking much.
I am talking with God about the future...things are becoming clearer. (Hey! That rhymes!)
I may be with my Emily, Cassandra, Rachel, and Trin if God leads us that way...we'll see (Did your heart jump Cassandra??? )
God has taken something very annoying such as my voice falling apart and made it into something beautiful. For the first time in a LONG time, I sang for worship and wasn't shaking, freaking out, or hyperventilating (I hide it well if you haven't noticed). God has HUMBLED me by taking away my comfortable, clear, easy-breathing throat, so that I can't "perform" for Him when I lead or sing for worship. My throat is still annoying but I am praising and worshiping the Lord with all of my heart and soul...and that is one beautiful place I want to stay. He is so, so good.
I love the church God has given me here.
I love the class that God has given me this year.
I am planning to go to Hong Kong with Pen this Spring Break. I am anxious (as always) but really pumped.
OK, I'm done.
I don't know why I am blogging...I guess I just wanted to get back to it and record some of my praises. (We'll see how long it lasts)
I had a very blessed day today. Johanna and I had a nice dinner and got a soothing pedicure at this nail salon...something we both needed after a weekend of writing report cards.
I am doing pretty well...God is so good to me and blessing me each day. I have really been blessed by the people like Johanna. She loves the Lord, loves clear communication, and is crazy, wicked, fun. It is one beautiful relationship.
I miss Jamin a lot...I love that boy so stinking much.
I am talking with God about the future...things are becoming clearer. (Hey! That rhymes!)
I may be with my Emily, Cassandra, Rachel, and Trin if God leads us that way...we'll see (Did your heart jump Cassandra??? )
God has taken something very annoying such as my voice falling apart and made it into something beautiful. For the first time in a LONG time, I sang for worship and wasn't shaking, freaking out, or hyperventilating (I hide it well if you haven't noticed). God has HUMBLED me by taking away my comfortable, clear, easy-breathing throat, so that I can't "perform" for Him when I lead or sing for worship. My throat is still annoying but I am praising and worshiping the Lord with all of my heart and soul...and that is one beautiful place I want to stay. He is so, so good.
I love the church God has given me here.
I love the class that God has given me this year.
I am planning to go to Hong Kong with Pen this Spring Break. I am anxious (as always) but really pumped.
OK, I'm done.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
It's Good to Back
Jamin and I went to church last night and I must say, "It's good to be back." Fellowshipping last night was a true blessing. I was a bit under the weather (and still am a little) but it was a great experience. I got to see old friends and I just felt "at home" again. Praise the Lord :)
Jamin got a bike yesterday...yay! We are going on a bike ride tonight. I got to ride my bike yesterday and I went to the local grocery store, MaxValue. It was 99 yen Wednesday. Did I mention that I loved Japan? I don't know why but I just love riding my bike out in town. I guess I just feel safe and free. Jamin and I are considering going to the base in Cali after Oki (I would like to stay here, but it's all in the talks). After that, we hope that we get into the FAO program. The FAO (Foreign Area Officers) program will allow us to live in another country for a long period of time and stick together as a family. I told Jamin I'd have our kids in a hut if it meant that we would be together.
Jamin got a bike yesterday...yay! We are going on a bike ride tonight. I got to ride my bike yesterday and I went to the local grocery store, MaxValue. It was 99 yen Wednesday. Did I mention that I loved Japan? I don't know why but I just love riding my bike out in town. I guess I just feel safe and free. Jamin and I are considering going to the base in Cali after Oki (I would like to stay here, but it's all in the talks). After that, we hope that we get into the FAO program. The FAO (Foreign Area Officers) program will allow us to live in another country for a long period of time and stick together as a family. I told Jamin I'd have our kids in a hut if it meant that we would be together.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I Wanna Be an Early Riser!
This jet lag thing has been great...I wake up early, sleep early, and I love it. We woke up at 5:15 this morning and went for a run. Today marks the day that Jamin and I get hard core about exercise and diet. It's not really a "diet", it's just getting back into a life style change. While he was gone I had changed my lifestyle and he had changed his...we both got lazy in the states and now we're doing it together and it's really fun!!! This morning we had 3 boiled egg whites for breakfast and I have to say that having breakfast with my husband is a true blessing. I also ran WAY FURTHER than I thought I would. Once you get fit, it's easier to stay fit. Even though I slacked a bit in the states, some of my energy and muscle still stayed.
At about 6-7am (now), the sun catches my solar-powered rainbow maker in my living room and mini-rainbows dance around the room...this is another reason I like waking up early.
Tonight we are going to church and I am so excited. Jamin and I haven't gone to Calvary together in a long, long time. There are so many people I want to introduce to him.
Life is good. My devo this morning was focused on 1 Corinthians 10:31–11:1. I seriously need to take this verse to heart. I've been going the "Our Daily Bread" series. They are short, simple, and yet for me...very transforming. I like how you can click on the verse reference and it takes you to Bible Gateway (just in case you don't have a Bible handy). It's amazing how many times once verse can impact you numerous times in your life. God's Word is truth, power, life.
At about 6-7am (now), the sun catches my solar-powered rainbow maker in my living room and mini-rainbows dance around the room...this is another reason I like waking up early.
Tonight we are going to church and I am so excited. Jamin and I haven't gone to Calvary together in a long, long time. There are so many people I want to introduce to him.
Life is good. My devo this morning was focused on 1 Corinthians 10:31–11:1. I seriously need to take this verse to heart. I've been going the "Our Daily Bread" series. They are short, simple, and yet for me...very transforming. I like how you can click on the verse reference and it takes you to Bible Gateway (just in case you don't have a Bible handy). It's amazing how many times once verse can impact you numerous times in your life. God's Word is truth, power, life.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Home Sweet Home
It's 5:56am over here in Okinawa. I haven't really suffered from jet lag too bad. I wake up really early and get things done and that's cool with me. When I went to the states...jet lag was AWFUL.
I finally got to eat my favorite foods that I had been missing from home- natto and marinated sashimi. I love Japan. I seriously love it here sooooo much. I was slightly, almost, considering, being weary of coming back but when I finally arrived...I felt so at home. My neighbors came to pick us up from the airport and the girls on my floor made me a welcome home sign. They are moving up to the 6th grade this fall and the banner was full of Disney High School Musical characters :).
It's not like I don't miss the states...well I kind of don't...I just miss the people. I had so much fun with Jamin's family and the visit with my family wasn't that bad. I miss Cassandra...since I haven't talked to her in a very, very, long time (psssst! please e-mail me...update me....call me...I love you and miss you). I also haven't talked to Emily in forever and Rachel in forever. I miss all you girls.
Good possible news...I will probably get to go to Korea with Jamin for a week. For some reason, the new Colonel allows wives to go with their husbands on some trips. It will be in about a week and I will have to pay for my own transportation but I am uber-pumped about the opportunity! I love traveling! I hate packing :(
I called my principal to see if I was free to go to Korea and he said I was fine. I am to go to the school sometime soon to sign my contract and get my room key. I am very anxious and excited about teaching. My own classroom...I've been waiting for so long. I hope that I can serve God well on this journey. I know that I need to be prepared spiritually because this job is a mission for Him. Jamin and I were talking about our spiritual lives and we really want to focus more on spending individual and couple time with Him. We pray together but it's time to dig deeper. We always make an effort to give thanks during meals (which by the way, we think is very important to not make a ritual but rather a genuine moment of gratitude) and we share prayer requests but I think that it's the individual time with Him that is most important and need improving. I subscribed to an RSS feed for a daily devotional to help remind me each day. I was hesitant at first because I thought that I was being impersonal but I realized that I was still getting the Word in...just differently. I am always checking my e-mail and getting online...I might as well add my time with Him to the mix. I hope that I can get a positive result out of it. I still want to take time out with God while not being online...I just want to make sure that He comes before my e-mails.
Speaking of God...I miss my church. I think that's one reason I missed Okinawa so much. I was so spiritually drained in the states. I had forgotten how much a fellowship with believers could fuel your walk with God. Finding the right church is not easy but man is it important. I pray that when we move...we can find another good church. I have to admit that there were many times that I was not acting like Christ while I was at home. The fact that I had slipped on my daily time with God and not being as active in church made we weaker and more open to Satan's lies. I had to say sorry to my mom like 50 times.
All right...time to unpack my clothes...and I seriously need to get back into working out. Tomorrow starts me and Jamin's intense workout and healthy life make-over plan. Go away belly!!!
I finally got to eat my favorite foods that I had been missing from home- natto and marinated sashimi. I love Japan. I seriously love it here sooooo much. I was slightly, almost, considering, being weary of coming back but when I finally arrived...I felt so at home. My neighbors came to pick us up from the airport and the girls on my floor made me a welcome home sign. They are moving up to the 6th grade this fall and the banner was full of Disney High School Musical characters :).
It's not like I don't miss the states...well I kind of don't...I just miss the people. I had so much fun with Jamin's family and the visit with my family wasn't that bad. I miss Cassandra...since I haven't talked to her in a very, very, long time (psssst! please e-mail me...update me....call me...I love you and miss you). I also haven't talked to Emily in forever and Rachel in forever. I miss all you girls.
Good possible news...I will probably get to go to Korea with Jamin for a week. For some reason, the new Colonel allows wives to go with their husbands on some trips. It will be in about a week and I will have to pay for my own transportation but I am uber-pumped about the opportunity! I love traveling! I hate packing :(
I called my principal to see if I was free to go to Korea and he said I was fine. I am to go to the school sometime soon to sign my contract and get my room key. I am very anxious and excited about teaching. My own classroom...I've been waiting for so long. I hope that I can serve God well on this journey. I know that I need to be prepared spiritually because this job is a mission for Him. Jamin and I were talking about our spiritual lives and we really want to focus more on spending individual and couple time with Him. We pray together but it's time to dig deeper. We always make an effort to give thanks during meals (which by the way, we think is very important to not make a ritual but rather a genuine moment of gratitude) and we share prayer requests but I think that it's the individual time with Him that is most important and need improving. I subscribed to an RSS feed for a daily devotional to help remind me each day. I was hesitant at first because I thought that I was being impersonal but I realized that I was still getting the Word in...just differently. I am always checking my e-mail and getting online...I might as well add my time with Him to the mix. I hope that I can get a positive result out of it. I still want to take time out with God while not being online...I just want to make sure that He comes before my e-mails.
Speaking of God...I miss my church. I think that's one reason I missed Okinawa so much. I was so spiritually drained in the states. I had forgotten how much a fellowship with believers could fuel your walk with God. Finding the right church is not easy but man is it important. I pray that when we move...we can find another good church. I have to admit that there were many times that I was not acting like Christ while I was at home. The fact that I had slipped on my daily time with God and not being as active in church made we weaker and more open to Satan's lies. I had to say sorry to my mom like 50 times.
All right...time to unpack my clothes...and I seriously need to get back into working out. Tomorrow starts me and Jamin's intense workout and healthy life make-over plan. Go away belly!!!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Thoughts and Updates
On Friends: I finally got to visit my friends and it was a true blessing. I got to see Cassandra, Rachel, Em, Chase, Trinity, Joe, Neil and so many others. Cassandra and I had a blast making iMovies and just being together. My cheeks got a great workout from laughing so much with her. Oh, the fun times. Watch out for our new videos on YouTube. Time went by too, too fast but it was all worth it. Rachel and I spent a lot of our time walking around Downtown Knoxville and eating really good food. She will always be my roomie. I got to see Joe at church and I didn't realize how much I missed him. I also spent a long time with Neil and we got to catch up on life, theology, and politics. I stayed a couple of days with Chase and Em and man...I love those two. We had a blast and wrote/recorded a ridiculous song. Our band name is The Polychord Selectors. Our song is on MySpace. I cut both of their hair and gave Em some cotton candy pink highlights. She looks beautiful.
On Family: I'm back home and well, it's going ok. My mom is crazy...but I love her anyway.
On MySpace: I am still getting friend requests from guys who, well,...let me explain. I get a friend request and then I visit their page to see if their friends are my friends and what do I find? That practically all of their "friends" are random Asian women. Creepy.
On Shoes: I finally got some Chacos and it was really hard to decide between sandals and flip flops. I went with the sandals...they are black and very comfy. Arch support!
On Politics: Well, Obama's the Democratic nominee. McCain vs. Obama. Sucks for Hillary...the race was sooooo close! Oh well. This will be an interesting election. I used to say that I would write-in Jesus Christ on my ballot but I realize that Jesus would not have run for President. I think that their should be more of a balance between Christianity and politics. I want to vote for what reflects my beliefs but I find that some are turning Jesus into the politician that He never was.
On Jesus: I love Him. I know He wants me to instill more of His Word in my heart, mind and soul. I need to work on that. I am also pumped about my new mini-Bible. It's so colorful! I ripped out the young girl's devos that came with it (because some of it was really ridiculous) and I can't wait to put it to more use.
On Love: I love my friends. I am thankful that they love me too. They accept me; they make me better. I love my husband and I long to be with him once again. I can't wait!
On Family: I'm back home and well, it's going ok. My mom is crazy...but I love her anyway.
On MySpace: I am still getting friend requests from guys who, well,...let me explain. I get a friend request and then I visit their page to see if their friends are my friends and what do I find? That practically all of their "friends" are random Asian women. Creepy.
On Shoes: I finally got some Chacos and it was really hard to decide between sandals and flip flops. I went with the sandals...they are black and very comfy. Arch support!
On Politics: Well, Obama's the Democratic nominee. McCain vs. Obama. Sucks for Hillary...the race was sooooo close! Oh well. This will be an interesting election. I used to say that I would write-in Jesus Christ on my ballot but I realize that Jesus would not have run for President. I think that their should be more of a balance between Christianity and politics. I want to vote for what reflects my beliefs but I find that some are turning Jesus into the politician that He never was.
On Jesus: I love Him. I know He wants me to instill more of His Word in my heart, mind and soul. I need to work on that. I am also pumped about my new mini-Bible. It's so colorful! I ripped out the young girl's devos that came with it (because some of it was really ridiculous) and I can't wait to put it to more use.
On Love: I love my friends. I am thankful that they love me too. They accept me; they make me better. I love my husband and I long to be with him once again. I can't wait!
Friday, May 9, 2008
And the Battle Rages On
I haven't felt sad, mad, bad, in a long time...until now. My mom is really "challenging" me. I miss my house...my cleaner and more organized house. I miss my church and my Japanese grocery stores. I miss my husband.
I am looking forward to seeing my friends and hanging with them but for now I am stuck here in AL and going on a week long trip with my mom to visit relatives in TX. I found out about this trip when I arrived. I miss my relatives but I dread the "you're fat" and "you need to give your brother money" comments.
I need grace and love. I had forgotten how challenging life was back in AL. I want to be an example but sometimes it's just so hard. I get put in these situations where I feel like I need to "teach" my mom how to act appropriately. I'm just so tired of being the "adult". Everyone goes to me and tells me to talk to this person or that person about these little issues and they want me to fix everything. I can't take up all of these roles. They want me to fix everything yet when I stand for what I believe in, they disagree and get mad.
I wish I had someone here with me to help me get through all of this. I guess I have Jesus.
I think I just realized that I am dealing with a huge spiritual battle here. There are idols all over this house, a statue of Buddha in almost every car driven, my mom burns incense for Buddha occasionally, and offers food for him. I'm also about to stay at my grandmother's and she's basically a Buddhist monk.
Oh God, please give me strength. Amen.
I am looking forward to seeing my friends and hanging with them but for now I am stuck here in AL and going on a week long trip with my mom to visit relatives in TX. I found out about this trip when I arrived. I miss my relatives but I dread the "you're fat" and "you need to give your brother money" comments.
I need grace and love. I had forgotten how challenging life was back in AL. I want to be an example but sometimes it's just so hard. I get put in these situations where I feel like I need to "teach" my mom how to act appropriately. I'm just so tired of being the "adult". Everyone goes to me and tells me to talk to this person or that person about these little issues and they want me to fix everything. I can't take up all of these roles. They want me to fix everything yet when I stand for what I believe in, they disagree and get mad.
I wish I had someone here with me to help me get through all of this. I guess I have Jesus.
I think I just realized that I am dealing with a huge spiritual battle here. There are idols all over this house, a statue of Buddha in almost every car driven, my mom burns incense for Buddha occasionally, and offers food for him. I'm also about to stay at my grandmother's and she's basically a Buddhist monk.
Oh God, please give me strength. Amen.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
He Gives Us Good Things
Something about riding my bike to the Japanese grocery store really makes me joyful. I think it's the simplicity of the experience that gets to me. It's so safe here. I love it here. Kids are free to be kids. No rapes, murders, thefts...if there is, it's very, very, rare. I'm so paranoid in the states but I feel so free here in Okinawa.
I bought some fresh fish tonight and prepared it with marinade....so good. That's one thing that I am going to miss so much...fresh raw fish that you can just buy, cut into pieces, and eat without worrying about food poisoning. I'm also going to miss natto and food available in small portions.
I talked to my possible future teaching team partner at church today. She's so sweet. I really hope I got the job...I think I did. We'll see. I will pretty much be a missionary teacher in a sense. A self-supported missionary teacher. I won't really get paid and my whole purpose of teaching is to share the Word. How exciting! I feel so good knowing that I am living how I truly want to live. Care-free and reliant on Christ. I know that the enemy will want to knock me from my place but I will have to fight. I have never felt so satisfied.
I am going to the states in a week and I know that I am going to be attacked spiritually. I am grateful for my country but some parts of it will get to me. I hope I don't fall into the world's lies.
I give credit to my church and the amazing people there. It's so nice to be able to talk about my spiritual life freely with my friends here. That's the most important part of my life. Praise the Lord for the people around me.
Good news...Jamin might come home a day early which means he'll be at church with me when I lead worship and we can fellowship together with everyone. I pray it happens.
I bought some fresh fish tonight and prepared it with marinade....so good. That's one thing that I am going to miss so much...fresh raw fish that you can just buy, cut into pieces, and eat without worrying about food poisoning. I'm also going to miss natto and food available in small portions.
I talked to my possible future teaching team partner at church today. She's so sweet. I really hope I got the job...I think I did. We'll see. I will pretty much be a missionary teacher in a sense. A self-supported missionary teacher. I won't really get paid and my whole purpose of teaching is to share the Word. How exciting! I feel so good knowing that I am living how I truly want to live. Care-free and reliant on Christ. I know that the enemy will want to knock me from my place but I will have to fight. I have never felt so satisfied.
I am going to the states in a week and I know that I am going to be attacked spiritually. I am grateful for my country but some parts of it will get to me. I hope I don't fall into the world's lies.
I give credit to my church and the amazing people there. It's so nice to be able to talk about my spiritual life freely with my friends here. That's the most important part of my life. Praise the Lord for the people around me.
Good news...Jamin might come home a day early which means he'll be at church with me when I lead worship and we can fellowship together with everyone. I pray it happens.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
God is Working
How He has Blessed Me:
-I went to a birthday party and had wonderful fellowship and met a bunch of new people.
-I am getting more involved with church, leading worship on Fridays and Wednesdays.
-I am no longer pre-diabetic and my Hemoglobin AC1 levels are down because I worked hard and ate right.
-I applied at OCSI and I have a good feeling about the job. They are speeding up my hiring process to get back to me ASAP.
-I have accepted that I won't be making much money at OSCI. More importantly, I have taken a leap of faith and placed my priorities where they need to be.
-God has changed so much of my life by closing and opening doors and I can hear Him. I am following.
-I feel closer to Him and I am learning how to breathe and let Him take control.
-I have a wonderful church and I am surrounded by people who understand God and strive to live every second for Him.
-I am even more in love with my husband. (This is a reoccurring blessing)
-I finally got my sleep test over with.
-I get to be with Cassandra in about 2 weeks!
-I haven't felt down in a long time.
Praise the Lord!
-I went to a birthday party and had wonderful fellowship and met a bunch of new people.
-I am getting more involved with church, leading worship on Fridays and Wednesdays.
-I am no longer pre-diabetic and my Hemoglobin AC1 levels are down because I worked hard and ate right.
-I applied at OCSI and I have a good feeling about the job. They are speeding up my hiring process to get back to me ASAP.
-I have accepted that I won't be making much money at OSCI. More importantly, I have taken a leap of faith and placed my priorities where they need to be.
-God has changed so much of my life by closing and opening doors and I can hear Him. I am following.
-I feel closer to Him and I am learning how to breathe and let Him take control.
-I have a wonderful church and I am surrounded by people who understand God and strive to live every second for Him.
-I am even more in love with my husband. (This is a reoccurring blessing)
-I finally got my sleep test over with.
-I get to be with Cassandra in about 2 weeks!
-I haven't felt down in a long time.
Praise the Lord!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
An Update in my Random Life
The Denise Separation:
So, I had been looking for a treadmill for months...I finally found one, went to the owner's house, we chit-chatted and the dude ended up giving it to me for FREE! Praise the LORD! It works great and folds up and everything. I decided that I needed to sweat more and get more cardio in so I'm using the treadmill instead of hanging with Denise Austin (for now). She's great for starting out, light workouts and toning but I need to sweat more.
Hot...Hot Pink:
My hair is finally herself. She is partially hot pink and although she keeps me busy with touch-ups, I love her. I bought a wig online recently for graduation. I contemplated graduating in all of my pink-ness but I don't want to offend any contributers to the college. My hair is not an act of rebellion, it is an expression. We'll see if the wig works.
My Honey Home:
Jamin came home for about a week and it was bliss. I surprised him with the carpet I put in the house and his decorated office. I also painted a picture for him but I can't post it now...my camera is broken. He was really happy to see that I didn't sit on my butt the whole time he was gone. I don't think that I sit on my butt too often. When he was in D.C, I was going through grad school, now I'm busy with leading worship, working out, and just enjoying life. Busy is key.
A New Ride:
Jamin and I got bikes! Well, his broke and we returned it but mine is intact. I LOVE IT! I decked it out with a basket, bell, cup holder, and mirror. I now ride it to the grocery store, local shops, and restaurants near my house. I love living in the city. A lot of locals also ride bikes and their bikes always have baskets. There's no point in driving unless it's raining which is often this season.
Rubik, I'm Obsessed with You:
So I got a cheap Rubik's Cube at the 100 yen store and I have finally mastered it. It's hard to move so I can't wait to get a REAL Rubik's cube. It took a lot of practice and memorization but I can solve it in 22 minutes...but that's while fast walking at 3.5 speed on a treadmill. It's so addicting.
Beach Baptism:
I went to a mass baptism at the beach today with my church. It was so beautiful. The forecast said that it would thunderstorm but the whole afternoon was sunny as sunny could be. Praise the Lord!
God's Plan?:
I think that I'm definitely going to apply to OCSI. I always thought God planned for me to teach inner city schools (and I have) but perhaps he's got other plans now. I think that the key to realizing God's plans for you is to be OPEN. I believe that He will use you in so many amazing ways if you LET him. I have been struggling with that...I was so set on teaching in "public inner city schools" and I think that I really limited God. OCSI is basically a ministry, the kids their go to learn English and some eventually get saved. They mostly come from non-Christian homes and I can relate. I thought about it and prayed about it and I feel that since I don't HAVE to work for us to eat, I might as well use my talents for reaching others to Christ. I was set on teaching for DOD schools because financially it is great and the benefits are also great...but then my motives don't seem to pure, right? This is God's life, not mine. We'll see how it goes...we'll see where God takes me. My pastor preached about gifts this morning and talked about how our gifts are for God and how we can find out gifts by looking at what we already possess. Well, let's see, I went to a BIBLE college and got a TEACHING degree and I am ACSI CERTIFIED and this is an ACSI SCHOOL. Hmm...and, I'm HERE in Japan and it's like 20 minutes from my house. I don't think that I should NOT apply. My Pastor also hinted at working at the church and doing children's ministry and the like. He's on the school board of OCSI and joked that if I gave my application to him, he'd burn it and then the "door would be closed" and I could work for the church. He also said that he would let me keep my hair pink and my nose ring...very tempting.
So, I had been looking for a treadmill for months...I finally found one, went to the owner's house, we chit-chatted and the dude ended up giving it to me for FREE! Praise the LORD! It works great and folds up and everything. I decided that I needed to sweat more and get more cardio in so I'm using the treadmill instead of hanging with Denise Austin (for now). She's great for starting out, light workouts and toning but I need to sweat more.
Hot...Hot Pink:
My hair is finally herself. She is partially hot pink and although she keeps me busy with touch-ups, I love her. I bought a wig online recently for graduation. I contemplated graduating in all of my pink-ness but I don't want to offend any contributers to the college. My hair is not an act of rebellion, it is an expression. We'll see if the wig works.
My Honey Home:
Jamin came home for about a week and it was bliss. I surprised him with the carpet I put in the house and his decorated office. I also painted a picture for him but I can't post it now...my camera is broken. He was really happy to see that I didn't sit on my butt the whole time he was gone. I don't think that I sit on my butt too often. When he was in D.C, I was going through grad school, now I'm busy with leading worship, working out, and just enjoying life. Busy is key.
A New Ride:
Jamin and I got bikes! Well, his broke and we returned it but mine is intact. I LOVE IT! I decked it out with a basket, bell, cup holder, and mirror. I now ride it to the grocery store, local shops, and restaurants near my house. I love living in the city. A lot of locals also ride bikes and their bikes always have baskets. There's no point in driving unless it's raining which is often this season.
Rubik, I'm Obsessed with You:
So I got a cheap Rubik's Cube at the 100 yen store and I have finally mastered it. It's hard to move so I can't wait to get a REAL Rubik's cube. It took a lot of practice and memorization but I can solve it in 22 minutes...but that's while fast walking at 3.5 speed on a treadmill. It's so addicting.
Beach Baptism:
I went to a mass baptism at the beach today with my church. It was so beautiful. The forecast said that it would thunderstorm but the whole afternoon was sunny as sunny could be. Praise the Lord!
God's Plan?:
I think that I'm definitely going to apply to OCSI. I always thought God planned for me to teach inner city schools (and I have) but perhaps he's got other plans now. I think that the key to realizing God's plans for you is to be OPEN. I believe that He will use you in so many amazing ways if you LET him. I have been struggling with that...I was so set on teaching in "public inner city schools" and I think that I really limited God. OCSI is basically a ministry, the kids their go to learn English and some eventually get saved. They mostly come from non-Christian homes and I can relate. I thought about it and prayed about it and I feel that since I don't HAVE to work for us to eat, I might as well use my talents for reaching others to Christ. I was set on teaching for DOD schools because financially it is great and the benefits are also great...but then my motives don't seem to pure, right? This is God's life, not mine. We'll see how it goes...we'll see where God takes me. My pastor preached about gifts this morning and talked about how our gifts are for God and how we can find out gifts by looking at what we already possess. Well, let's see, I went to a BIBLE college and got a TEACHING degree and I am ACSI CERTIFIED and this is an ACSI SCHOOL. Hmm...and, I'm HERE in Japan and it's like 20 minutes from my house. I don't think that I should NOT apply. My Pastor also hinted at working at the church and doing children's ministry and the like. He's on the school board of OCSI and joked that if I gave my application to him, he'd burn it and then the "door would be closed" and I could work for the church. He also said that he would let me keep my hair pink and my nose ring...very tempting.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
"So you think that only skinny girls are pretty?" She responded, "yes."
Today was a lovely day so I went walking around the shopping centers this afternoon in Naha. As I was walking, I overheard a conversation taking place directly behind me. It was a couple which consisted of a military guy and a local Japanese girl. Blending in with all of the locals around me, I suspected that they assumed I didn't understand English. The guy was talking to his girlfriend and asking her, "So you think that only skinny girls are pretty?" She responded, "yes." He asked, "So you think that fat people are ugly?" She replied, "yes". He then began to talk to her about how she was mis-judging people by relying on their outside appearance. I don't know if he got upset or not but they quickly turned around and he walked her back to where they were before. I couldn't help but think, "does she think I'm ugly?", because I was not as skinny as she was. I then continued shopping and was reminded of how messed up fashion can be in Japan. The Japanese girl behind me thought that fat people were ugly because that is what is portrayed to her. I respect my host-country and all, but they've got some issues. Take for example some pictures I scanned from a fashion magazine I bought:
First, the nails. How can you function with these nails? Having really long nails that are heavily decorated is really popular here. Can you imagine all the dirt and grime that gets stuck in that?
Second, the shoes. It's sad watching girls walk in the mall and in the street. They wear shoes are too big for them, even boots, and they walk like they are in pain, like someone gave them the biggest wedgie of their lives. I'm not trying to make fun of these "fashionable" girls. I just think it is ridiculous to suffer for fashion. People walk a lot in Japan and you should see some of these people walking. They stumble and kind of drag their feet (probably because the shoes are too big). I have a lot of shoes...and let me tell you, if my shoes hurt...I don't wear them. Each shoe has a time limit (depending on the style and height) and if I think I'm going to be gone for over that time limit, I bring an extra pair of shoes. Why do these people choose to suffer like this? Well, it's because it's part of the society. This brings me to the third issue: dieting.
After her diet she weights 79 pounds? And look at her before pic, she's not even fat. The girl is medically underweight. And what happened to her arm? That's just sick. You shouldn't want to lose muscle to be skinnier. You need muscle. The full body picture of this girl in a bra and underwear are pretty sad. I just want to give her a protein bar. I think that the arm picture is photo-shopped but the point is that these girls are faced with these images everyday. In all of the drugstores I go to, they have diet pills and meal plans. The meal plans consist of eating soups that are 10-30 calories each. Anorexic victims take in about the same amount of calories as these diet meal plans. It's so sad that people are willing to stave themselves and endanger their bodies with pills to match these so-called models. I've seen some of these girls working in the stores and some of them just look so weak. There's "naturally skinny" and then there's "I haven't eaten and I have no muscle left skinny". Brazil is the worst country when it comes to eating disorders and since the death of a supermodel (due to an eating disorder), people have been more aware and trying to do something about it. I used to think that America was bad when it came to extreme dieting but in actuality, a lot of America needs to start exercising with the weight-related diabetes that we have going on.
I was talking to a girl who lived in Tokyo today and she told me that the suicide rate is very high there. She suspects that since there are so many people who live in such a small place, there is a lack of identity. She told me that there is really no love expressed there and you can't really be "different" because Japanese culture is all about being artsy and different. I recently realized that since living here, I have also lost a sense of "identity" when it comes to fashion. They have a lot of the same thing everywhere and everyone is obsessed with it. I actually buy some of my clothes online from the states because I feel so "cloned" if I buy something here.
If you know me, you know that I love fashion and expressing who you are in your clothes. But really, fashion isn't everything. It should be an expression, not an obsession. It shouldn't determine how you act or what you think about yourself. It should reflect how you act and how you feel.
Don't suffer for fashion. If your shoes hurt, take them off or change them. If your stomach is growling, eat something. If you feel like you are gaining excess fat, work out. If someone tells you that you are ugly, say "SCREW YOU!" No really, if someone says that you are ugly take comfort in knowing that the Greatest Love of All Died for you to pay your debt. Happy Easter.
First, the nails. How can you function with these nails? Having really long nails that are heavily decorated is really popular here. Can you imagine all the dirt and grime that gets stuck in that?
Second, the shoes. It's sad watching girls walk in the mall and in the street. They wear shoes are too big for them, even boots, and they walk like they are in pain, like someone gave them the biggest wedgie of their lives. I'm not trying to make fun of these "fashionable" girls. I just think it is ridiculous to suffer for fashion. People walk a lot in Japan and you should see some of these people walking. They stumble and kind of drag their feet (probably because the shoes are too big). I have a lot of shoes...and let me tell you, if my shoes hurt...I don't wear them. Each shoe has a time limit (depending on the style and height) and if I think I'm going to be gone for over that time limit, I bring an extra pair of shoes. Why do these people choose to suffer like this? Well, it's because it's part of the society. This brings me to the third issue: dieting.
After her diet she weights 79 pounds? And look at her before pic, she's not even fat. The girl is medically underweight. And what happened to her arm? That's just sick. You shouldn't want to lose muscle to be skinnier. You need muscle. The full body picture of this girl in a bra and underwear are pretty sad. I just want to give her a protein bar. I think that the arm picture is photo-shopped but the point is that these girls are faced with these images everyday. In all of the drugstores I go to, they have diet pills and meal plans. The meal plans consist of eating soups that are 10-30 calories each. Anorexic victims take in about the same amount of calories as these diet meal plans. It's so sad that people are willing to stave themselves and endanger their bodies with pills to match these so-called models. I've seen some of these girls working in the stores and some of them just look so weak. There's "naturally skinny" and then there's "I haven't eaten and I have no muscle left skinny". Brazil is the worst country when it comes to eating disorders and since the death of a supermodel (due to an eating disorder), people have been more aware and trying to do something about it. I used to think that America was bad when it came to extreme dieting but in actuality, a lot of America needs to start exercising with the weight-related diabetes that we have going on.
I was talking to a girl who lived in Tokyo today and she told me that the suicide rate is very high there. She suspects that since there are so many people who live in such a small place, there is a lack of identity. She told me that there is really no love expressed there and you can't really be "different" because Japanese culture is all about being artsy and different. I recently realized that since living here, I have also lost a sense of "identity" when it comes to fashion. They have a lot of the same thing everywhere and everyone is obsessed with it. I actually buy some of my clothes online from the states because I feel so "cloned" if I buy something here.
If you know me, you know that I love fashion and expressing who you are in your clothes. But really, fashion isn't everything. It should be an expression, not an obsession. It shouldn't determine how you act or what you think about yourself. It should reflect how you act and how you feel.
Don't suffer for fashion. If your shoes hurt, take them off or change them. If your stomach is growling, eat something. If you feel like you are gaining excess fat, work out. If someone tells you that you are ugly, say "SCREW YOU!" No really, if someone says that you are ugly take comfort in knowing that the Greatest Love of All Died for you to pay your debt. Happy Easter.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Another Lovely Day
Today was a really nice day. It didn't really rain and today marks that Jamin will be home in one week! I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and just be with him. The sad thing is, is that we found out that he is going to be gone in April so he will only be home for one week. Again I suck it up, shed a few tears and move on. I hold on to the fact that children in East Timor will now have a school to be educated at because my husband help built it.
My lovely day started early this morning at 12 am-2:30am when I got to talk to Jacki and Cassandra for a long time. I love my friends...they are the best thing about me. I can't wait to see everyone in a month! I slept after I got off of the phone with Cassandra and then woke up 5 hours later to go to the doctor. I've never really dealt with military doctors before so I was nervous that I wouldn't get the attention I would from a private practice. When my doctor came in, he was wearing the uniform that Jamin wears everyday so that threw me off. I was expecting a doctor's lab coat and thought, "you're a Marine, do you even have a medical license?" Anyway, my doctor was really nice and he listened to me and answered all of my questions (I am REALLY good at asking questions when I'm at the doctors...I always make a list before I go...you should too because you are paying for their service). He gave me a blood test (for sugar) and he even referred me to a sleep center...I can FINALLY get my sleep monitored and tested. I was supposed to get tested the summer of 2006 but it would cost $3,000 and insurance wouldn't cover. My doc found that my oxygen intake was decreasing during sleep and I would get these weird heart palpitations. My new doc said that if it's not sleep apnea, it could be an anxiety-stress issue. He said that the heart palpitations could be from releasing too much adrenaline in my sleep. I had never heard of this before but it makes soooooo much sense and I think that could be the cause of my heart palpitations. I am a very intense person. Anyone who knows me knows that. I can stress and worry WAY TOO MUCH. During my visit, I was also given a new sugar monitor and a new prescription for test strips. I love it when I have a productive doctor appointments!
After this I went to the commissary (military grocery store), my favorite Japanese grocery store and the 100 yen store. I bought two rolls of sushi for 1.99 and savored it for lunch. For the rest of the afternoon I washed/folded clothes and switched out the bedding. I am now eating dinner with consists of a rice noodle salad made with creamy ginger-sesame Japaneses dressing, peas, sun-dried tomato, and smoked salmon. I made everything from scratch and it tastes so good! I'm glad I don't hate my cooking.
Well, I still have the rest of the night. I may touch-up/color my hair and workout. I've found a lot of gray hairs lately on my head. Jamin says that gray hairs represent wisdom and he would like to go gray. I, on the other hand, feel that I may dye my hair forever. And when my hair is all gray...it will be that much easier to dye it pink because I won't have to bleach.
I wonder who actually reads my blog. I know Cassandra does...I love you Cassandra.
My lovely day started early this morning at 12 am-2:30am when I got to talk to Jacki and Cassandra for a long time. I love my friends...they are the best thing about me. I can't wait to see everyone in a month! I slept after I got off of the phone with Cassandra and then woke up 5 hours later to go to the doctor. I've never really dealt with military doctors before so I was nervous that I wouldn't get the attention I would from a private practice. When my doctor came in, he was wearing the uniform that Jamin wears everyday so that threw me off. I was expecting a doctor's lab coat and thought, "you're a Marine, do you even have a medical license?" Anyway, my doctor was really nice and he listened to me and answered all of my questions (I am REALLY good at asking questions when I'm at the doctors...I always make a list before I go...you should too because you are paying for their service). He gave me a blood test (for sugar) and he even referred me to a sleep center...I can FINALLY get my sleep monitored and tested. I was supposed to get tested the summer of 2006 but it would cost $3,000 and insurance wouldn't cover. My doc found that my oxygen intake was decreasing during sleep and I would get these weird heart palpitations. My new doc said that if it's not sleep apnea, it could be an anxiety-stress issue. He said that the heart palpitations could be from releasing too much adrenaline in my sleep. I had never heard of this before but it makes soooooo much sense and I think that could be the cause of my heart palpitations. I am a very intense person. Anyone who knows me knows that. I can stress and worry WAY TOO MUCH. During my visit, I was also given a new sugar monitor and a new prescription for test strips. I love it when I have a productive doctor appointments!
After this I went to the commissary (military grocery store), my favorite Japanese grocery store and the 100 yen store. I bought two rolls of sushi for 1.99 and savored it for lunch. For the rest of the afternoon I washed/folded clothes and switched out the bedding. I am now eating dinner with consists of a rice noodle salad made with creamy ginger-sesame Japaneses dressing, peas, sun-dried tomato, and smoked salmon. I made everything from scratch and it tastes so good! I'm glad I don't hate my cooking.
Well, I still have the rest of the night. I may touch-up/color my hair and workout. I've found a lot of gray hairs lately on my head. Jamin says that gray hairs represent wisdom and he would like to go gray. I, on the other hand, feel that I may dye my hair forever. And when my hair is all gray...it will be that much easier to dye it pink because I won't have to bleach.
I wonder who actually reads my blog. I know Cassandra does...I love you Cassandra.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Loving Life
So these past two days in Japan have been absolutely beautiful. Today was especially beautiful because I was productive and living life. I even created a new piece of art! I'll reveal it later on Facebook. Painting is so soothing to me.
Now that I am adjusted to Japanese traffic, I am enjoying Japan more than ever. I have my little stores that I go to for certain things and I love driving with the windows down with weather as beautiful as today. I am more earth-friendly (with the encouragement of Japan) and I shop with my nylon reusable shopping bags. They are also brightly colored which is way more fun than white plastic bags. I love walking around the city in my Vibram Frive Fingers (the shoes that look like toe socks) because they are so comfortable and I feel like I am almost barefoot. Although people assuming I can speak their language is annoying at times, I like blending in because I don't feel too out of place since I usually go off base to shop. I also love Wednesdays, because on Wednesdays, the Japanese grocery store that I go to has great 99 yen sales (99 cents). Sushi rolls are 99 yen a piece! That's so cheap!
On base I love the library because I am always checking out DVD's for free. I have seen so many movies lately and I'm finally making up for all the years I didn't watch movies. I still have a problem with watching the same movie twice within 5-10 years though.
Another thing I love is knowing that I live on the 5th floor. When I haven't done cardio for the day, I balance out my shopping bags and walk the 5 flights of stairs. Let me tell you, I end up breathing hard every time but then I feel good for giving my heart and body that little exercise.
I have also made some more hang-out buddies so I don't get too lonely. Some things have been stressing me, like waiting for a huge reimbursement from the government, and I often flip out when Jamin's there...but then later I calm down and realize that really, I'm blessed.
I don't have too much to complain about (even though I'm really good at complaining). I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a wonderful husband and marriage, awesome loyal friends, and God who loves me so very much.
These "joyful" moments aren't always realized in my life often. Hopefully I can be more aware of God's blessings in my life.
Now that I am adjusted to Japanese traffic, I am enjoying Japan more than ever. I have my little stores that I go to for certain things and I love driving with the windows down with weather as beautiful as today. I am more earth-friendly (with the encouragement of Japan) and I shop with my nylon reusable shopping bags. They are also brightly colored which is way more fun than white plastic bags. I love walking around the city in my Vibram Frive Fingers (the shoes that look like toe socks) because they are so comfortable and I feel like I am almost barefoot. Although people assuming I can speak their language is annoying at times, I like blending in because I don't feel too out of place since I usually go off base to shop. I also love Wednesdays, because on Wednesdays, the Japanese grocery store that I go to has great 99 yen sales (99 cents). Sushi rolls are 99 yen a piece! That's so cheap!
On base I love the library because I am always checking out DVD's for free. I have seen so many movies lately and I'm finally making up for all the years I didn't watch movies. I still have a problem with watching the same movie twice within 5-10 years though.
Another thing I love is knowing that I live on the 5th floor. When I haven't done cardio for the day, I balance out my shopping bags and walk the 5 flights of stairs. Let me tell you, I end up breathing hard every time but then I feel good for giving my heart and body that little exercise.
I have also made some more hang-out buddies so I don't get too lonely. Some things have been stressing me, like waiting for a huge reimbursement from the government, and I often flip out when Jamin's there...but then later I calm down and realize that really, I'm blessed.
I don't have too much to complain about (even though I'm really good at complaining). I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a wonderful husband and marriage, awesome loyal friends, and God who loves me so very much.
These "joyful" moments aren't always realized in my life often. Hopefully I can be more aware of God's blessings in my life.
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