Organized Chaos

My Brain Hurts and it's not from the Aluminum in Vaccines

2011-10-30T22:19:00.002-04:00

No, it's from my monthly research on vaccines. You've got the pro-vaxers, non-vaxers and the in-betweeners. I've heard and seen both. I have friends who vax and their babies are fine and then those who vaxed and they had scary side-effects that no mother would want to face. I think I'm an in-betweener. We did not vax River until last month and we found a great doctor who is flexible with OUR vaccination schedule. What is our vaccination schedule? I have no idea. I just listen to my doc, do tons of reading, and after I get totally stressed out, I am reminded that I should have prayed before my "process" of figuring this stuff out. After praying and talking with J, I find that God gives me peace on what I should or should not do.

Since being a mom who believes in natural parenting, I have set personal guidelines for vaccines and my children:

1) I cover the whole process in prayer. God is big and He covers everything.

2) I don't let anyone rush my decisions and believe that God helps us decide on good timing. I, of course, take into consideration recommendations on when certain vaccines should be given, but I am also aware that you have the right to be flexible.

3) I don't want to overload my child with shots and chemicals. Hence, this is why I have a different schedule.

4) When it comes to my child's health, time and money do not matter. We are living a financially humble life right now and I often LOVE to save money, but if it takes me 15 co-payments and 15 separate doctor visits to make sure I can accommodate my child's health, I will. God will provide.

R has another doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I pray that I can get things figured out before my visit. I would appreciate your prayers too!

Really ORGANIZED Chaos

2011-09-29T07:48:00.003-04:00

My last post was entitled "Patience" although I don't think that I have been very patient these past few months. Since then we have moved into our new place and I spent the last few months de-cluttering my life since our new place is about 40% smaller.

We've made a few adjustments with J being out of the USMC and in seminary. Let's just say that our life is chaotically "simpler" :) . We found a wonderful church where J is interning and I am helping out with Sunday School and the Worship Team. Life as a parent is still an awesome joy and I've learned that Crystal's life works best on a schedule.

I love fun, randomness, and creativity but for me to function and stay sane and healthy, I NEED a schedule...a color-coded one too!

I think that most people should have a schedule, especially stay at home wives and moms. I've always said, "But I'm a night owl!" Well you know what, that's a bad excuse and I found myself staying up too late just to get "alone" time while my poor hubby would go to bed saddened without me. I was starting to look a lot like someone I did NOT want to be. Then, because I went to bed late, I'd wake up late and be unproductive. Now, I will say that I don't believe in "baby training" and the first year of baby is tough and you just have to nurture them and be on their schedule.

I finally decided to whip my myself into shape. I made a family schedule and gave R a bedtime routine. It's only been 2 weeks but it has been AWESOME. My baby girl goes to bed early, I get to spend time with my hubby, I wake up early and work out, and most important of all, I get my alone time with the Lord.

I pray that I can keep this up! I feel like I am finally getting settled into our new home and place. I really like Louisville and I really love our new church. God has once again blessed us tremendously. After leaving my awesome church family in Okinawa I thought that I would never find a church again. My church now is no CCO but it's special in its own way and J and I have really been blessed there.

Thank you Lord, for Your continued Faithfulness.

Patience

2011-04-23T18:38:00.004-04:00

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged about anything. Currently, I am traveling between Indiana and Alabama visiting and temporarily staying at Jamin's and my parents' house. How have I been coping with this? It could be better.

I could be spending more time with the Lord, trusting in Him, having more patience, and being content with my situation. I really miss Okinawa. I know the Lord is here too, but it seems as though there are so many distractions in the way. It was easier when I was on a little tiny island, away from so many people just "Keeping up with the Joneses". I am not saying that everyone here is like that...it's just that I've seen so much of it since being here. I am grateful to be near family and friends, but, frankly, I am going through culture shock. On top of that, I am without a house, living out of a suitcase, and that's been adding to the challenges.

No matter what my circumstances though, God is still God. And I will find peace in Him.

I've learned that it is easier to trust the Lord when you are forced to. I had to trust the Lord in Okinawa because I had no choice with Jamin being deployed while I was pregnant. I had to fully depend on the Lord. Here, Jamin is with me and we are in a sense "free" to do whatever...I have to purposely depend on the Lord and not give in to the illusion that I am in "control" of how I carry our my day or week.

It has all been spiritually challenging...it sucks leaving a church that you are totally in love with. Jamin has been patient and keeping me accountable so that is a blessing.

We will be moving into our new place at the end of June, so we'll see how all of that goes. My prayer is that God will continue to be the focus of my life despite the efforts of the enemy using the world to distract me.

Dear Okinawa, these are the things that I will miss about you...

2011-02-04T00:28:00.004-05:00

(will be adding as I remember more and more things)

1. My wonderful church family at Calvary Chapel... the humility and humor of Pastor Rick, ranting with Glenn about rat poop in Chocolate, Kevin and his sarcasm, jammin with Fred and my girl JB and doing a bunch of accents during sound check (tee hee), Nannette and her motherly wisdom (along with so many other women), Amy, my sunshine and bus-buddy, having lunch with beautiful Andrea after Women's Bible study, Keiko-san and her cuteness (along with Yoshi), all of the kids and their faithful, awesome moms, all the women I met who helped me be a better woman, wife, and mother (through FB and at church), always being challenged in my faith and time in the Word and with the Lord, and the list can go on forever...

2. Tarako

3. Iburishake sushi at the sushi go round next to our house

4. Natto

5. Nursing and diaper changing stations at the malls

6. The safety

7. The work ethic of all the Japanese people

8. The clean bathrooms and their heated toilet seats

9. The 100 Yen Shop, Manue, Bunny Store, Shimamura, Birthday Store, Rimune, Jusco, San E

10. The bright colors and cuteness of everything

11. Mentaiko French Bread at the Bakery in MaxValue

12. Mochi Ice Cream

13. Lierre Blanc... oh how I love thee...my favorite (French) Restaurant

13. Ordering my Lassi and Lunch Set at Cafe Unizon

14. Diakon No Hana and all of your deliciousness

15. Turkish Ice Cream from Istanbul

16. "Big-Booty Donkey" the hamburg restaurant

17. Sukiya dates with Jamin

18. Yakiniku

19. Izikaya

20. Purikura

21. Blending in (I'll really stand out in KY!)

22. Bike rides in the neighborhood

23. Wash cloths with my meal

24. The plethora of drink machines and how they have hot drinks/soups in the winter

25. Family Mart and Lawson...your fried chicken, delish snacks, and your cleanliness!

26. Cheeza, Kewpie Mayo, and all of my favorite snacks and foods that I don't know how to name

27. Lots of sunshine

28. Clear teal waters

29. The hoaky theme parks (Pineapple Park!)

30. Forest Adventure Park

31. My friends and students at OCSI

32. Dried Squid Tempura with Mayo

33. Fried Chicken Skin from Toride

34. Hanahou, JiJi Cafe, Cafe Green Green

35. Taro and Milk Tea Tapioca Drinks

36. The adorable fabric

37. Obligato's original dressing (I'm still trying to re-create you!...I got your tortilla soup though!)

38. Umibudo, Mozuku, Hijiki

39. The JA fresh market and the passion fruit when in season

40. Being able to buy things from Okinawa Yard Sales

41. Great meals at parties with Lauren, Michelle, Mark and Christina present

42. My Toyota FunCargo

43. Getting pedi's with JB

44. Karaoke boxes

45....

Life with Baby and Hubby

2010-12-20T19:38:00.003-05:00

I haven't really blogged since Jamin got back (understandably) but things have been going well. It's a blessing to have him back again. Here are some quick updates:

Hubby:

He's an AMAZING father. He is always willing to change diapers, burp her, or do whatever he can to give me a "break" when I need it. He sings to her, reads stories to her, and kisses her about as much as I do and that's a TON! Does River have chubby cheeks or are they just swollen from the thousands of kisses she gets a day?

I find myself a bit "clingy" with him since I keep thinking that he's going to deploy. I'm not used to him being home for so long!

Baby:

I adore her. I love all of her funny habits: rubbing her feet together while she's eating, puckering and sticking out her lips when she's concentrating, sleeping with her arms spread out above her head when she's out, and gurgling when I change her diaper. I also love her stinky feet and arm pits :)

Being a mom has been pretty awesome and I'm ready for another one (plus 4) :) We've gotten our "routine" down...which is not really a routine at all but things have gotten a lot easier with River sleeping through the night and maturing. She even put herself to bed last night for the first time and I hope that she keeps it up!!!

Cloth Diapering:

I recently tried a SunBaby diaper and found that they work quite well. They are cheap, super cute, and have a trimmed fit. The only thing I don't like about them is how they stuff (the insert doesn't snap it) but they are neat. I don't think I'll buy anymore for now because we have enough.

I bought more GroBaby/Gro Via Soakers and I absolutely love them (be sure to prep them!). I think that I would go with the GroBaby/GroVia system if I had to do it over again. You don't have to stuff diapers and they save time and space. We always use them for outings and use our Bububibi's at home. Although stuffing can get old, I like stuffing my Bububibi's because I can get in a lot of extra inserts for overnight use.

We still have and use other brands such as Bum Genius and Sposoeasy and those are great too...I guess variety isn't bad :)

Future:

I found out recently that we are moving back to the states as early as February. Although I will enjoy being near family and friends...I AM BUMMED! I will miss Okinawa (the FOOD!) so much and most of all, my church family at Calvary Okinawa. :( I can only pray that one day, we'll get to come back for another tour.

My Birth Story (Finally!!!!)

2010-12-09T03:07:00.005-05:00

It was September 11, 2010, (my due date), Saturday night, and I couldn't sleep. I wanted to go to church, so my mom and I tried to go to bed early. I couldn't sleep, and at 5:35 a.m. (September 12, 2010) my contractions started. These contractions were more "complete" than before – I had some before, but I'd have more pain on one side, and they were irregular. These new contractions were strong, even around my hips and back, and were 6-10 minutes apart. I was REALLY hoping that this would be the day!

I decided to try to sleep since I had heard that you should always get your rest. Sadly, I couldn't sleep and decided to call my Doula, Angela, at 7:00 a.m. for advice. Later, my contractions were 10 minutes apart and I called Angela again at 9:15 am. Angela suggested that I shower, and the shower helped me relax. After my shower my contractions shortened to about 3 minutes apart and I tried to wake up my mom. She didn't believe that I was in labor even though I told her I had had contractions for hours. Maybe if I would have screamed she would have believed me :)

Angela arrived at my house at 12 p.m. and I was talking well between the contractions. Angela said I didn't look like I was in labor between contractions but she assured me that I was in labor since I kept asking, "Am I really gonna have a baby?". I was in doubt since I had so many painful symptoms for a few weeks prior. I swayed, stood, and breathed through each contraction. I couldn't talk during the contractions and I hated sitting or lying on my back. My contractions slowed to 6 minutes apart, so we decided to walk the stairs to loosen up my pelvic muscles. I walked up 17 small flights of stairs and we used the elevator to go down when we reached the top floor (I couldn't walk down the stairs because I was getting charlie horses that way-ouch!).

At around 2 p.m., my contractions got stronger and my mom offered us some fortune cookies. I opened up my cookie and was shocked by its message: "You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it." Talk about the PERFECT message for someone like me going through natural labor!

At 4:30 p.m. we decided to walk more flights of stairs. My contractions were stronger and about 6 minutes apart. After my walk, I leaned on my birth ball for a little while and I was getting tired. Angela rubbed my back while I tried to lie down and get some sleep. I got up at 6 p.m. to use the restroom and started getting chills. At 6:21 p.m. my contractions were a minute long and my mom continued to ask when we were leaving for the hospital. "I don't want her to have a baby here!" she would tell Angela :) Even though I had consistent contractions for 12.5 hours already, I was still in doubt that I was actually going to have a baby!

At 7 p.m., we finally left for the hospital. It was 13.5 hours after my contractions started and I was glad that I could wait so long before going to the hospital (I didn't want them to "rush" my labor...little did I know that there was going to be NO rushing with this labor). Angela, my mom, and I were in one car while Anna (who was also pregnant and due in November) followed (I asked her to help with pictures and communicating with Jamin). The ride wasn't too bad, but it was very bumpy (those Okinawan roads!) and that didn't help the contractions. The Orion Beer Festival was going on, so we hit some traffic and we got to the hospital at 7:50 p.m. At 8:20, I was in Triage and they started EFM and took my vitals while I was standing (I refused to lie on the bed). The EFM showed that River's heartbeat was strong and she was well oxygenated, so they took it off. We could tell that the nurse didn't believe I was in labor because she kept saying things like, "if you are admitted" and I was laughing and mingling between contractions. The nurse examined me at 8:45 p.m. and I was 6-7cm dilated and fully effaced, she was shocked. :)

At 9:05 p.m., I was in the labor room and they made me take all of my earrings out (that took while). We went over my birth plan and they let me walk around in the hallway. I got to Skype with Jamin out there because the Wi-Fi worked (it didn't work in the labor room). I kept on laboring and doing different positions with the ball, squat bar, and whatever else was around me. I did everything but lay on my back...I was so uncomfortable that way. There was a point when I was "dancing" on the bed but the nurses told me to get down :)

At 11:20 p.m. I started to get the urge to push. My water still had not broken and at 1:25 they did another exam and told me that my cervical lip was still all the way around and that River's head was still high. This meant that I couldn't push since it could cause swelling and she would never get out except through C-section. The one good thing was that her heart beat was super-strong during my labor so they didn't have to "do anything" to me. I didn't want them to break my water because it could have added stress to River. So far, my birth plan was going as planned. Jamin was on the phone, but then took a break to get dinner.

At 2 a.m. my contractions slowed down and I wanted to sleep, but couldn't. I think that this is when I started to shed some tears. I was exhausted since I hadn't really slept for about 40 hours. About an hour later, I tried to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't make it, so I got back to the bed and just squatted. At about 4 a.m., my water kind of leaked. They put me on oxygen since I had to "pant" to hold my urge to push. I was totally confused and frustrated because I wanted to push so bad. I hadn't planned to NOT push! I had planned to PUSH!

At about 4:30 a.m., Dr. Papson came in, checked me, and told Angela that my baby was sunny side up (posterior position). It was a good thing that I wasn't on my back because I would have had awful back labor. It was ironic that River was sunny side up because I tried everything during my pregnancy to prevent her being in that position by watching my posture...I guess you can't prevent everything. After this I started to experience the hardest part of my labor which revolved around the fact that I was not allowed to push. Since my cervical lip still had not opened, I had to keep on "holding" my pushes...which seemed impossible. I remember that I moaned a lot and my inner "mama bear" came out. When an urge came, I would stare into Angela's eyes as she coached my panting. My mouth was dry because of the oxygen mask, but I had to have it on or else I would have passed out from the panting. My poor mom was praying and trying to encourage me. I was at the point where I wanted them to do something, like give me something just so I could push, but there was nothing they could do. I just focused and prayed that River would come soon. I was determined to do all that I could in order to prevent a C-section. I remember I wanted it silent during each contraction and I even told Jamin to "please, shut up" on the phone :)

At around 6 a.m., I got some urges to push that I absolutely could not hold back, and I felt like I was tearing. "Angela, get the doctor! I feel like I'm tearing!" I told her. The nurses came in and checked me and said, "I see a head!" and I was thanking God! We all thought that I was going to end up with a C-section. Dr. Papson came in and she said the words that I had been longing to hear for HOURS, "Ok, honey, now you can push". I pulled myself up into my squatted position and was SO PUMPED about finally pushing and gave it all of my might. After the first push I believe that River's head started to appear and they let me feel her head. It was one of the coolest feelings in the world and I was ready to push again because I wanted to meet her so bad. I gave it another push and the doctor told me to lay back...I started to lay back and Dr.Papson said. "Honey, I REALLY need you to lay back now!" . I was squatting so low and there was no room between me and bed for River to come out. When I leaned back I felt her come out of me. She was born in the water sac and it broke as she came out. River Eden Hien Bailey was born at 6:17 a.m. I cut the cord (which was SO cool) and they placed her on my chest right away. She had so much hair and was crying so well. I was thanking God for my healthy baby girl.

After a couple of minutes I started to detect that something was wrong. The doctor said, "Page Dr. Mimimsky." She then said it again, "Page Dr. Mimimsky 911". One of the nurses started to massage my stomach to get the placenta out and get my uterus to contract (that pain was worse than the labor). Suddenly a flood of people came in and I then felt lots of pain on my stomach and things being shoved in me. I had bad postpartum hemorrhaging (due to my uterus not clamping down (uterine atony) and the doctor had to get a small piece of my placenta out with some forceps. She was also trying everything she could to stop the bleeding. I just stared at River and focused on her. When I wanted to look and see what was going on, Angela was at my side, reminding me to just focus on River. My mom was squeezing my hand and praying. I was also praying that God would spare my life so that I could be there for River...I really thought that I might die. The doctor asked me if I wanted pain medication as she was working on me and repairing my tear and I was like, "UH, yeah!". They could have given me cocaine! River was born and the only reason I refused drugs was for her, not me.

They got the bleeding under control and found out that I had a 2nd degree tear, which was common for first time moms (River also came out facing the wrong way and holding her hand up to her face so that didn't help). I refused an episiotomy to prevent a 3rd or 4th degree tear. They had given me River again after they took her vitals (agar score 8/9-good job girl!) and swaddled her. She was already sucking on her fist when she came out so I had a feeling that she would nurse right away and she did (it's still her favorite activity to this day). I had really bad chills and was very pale from the loss of blood (about 1600 milliliters), but I was just thankful that was alive for my baby girl. I recovered well and didn't need a blood transfusion, so that was good. Jamin was on speaker phone the whole time while Anna was talking to him and sending him live pics and vids on my iPhone. As I look back, I can say that I had a positive birth experience. I didn't do anything during my labor that I regretted and my birth plan followed through. Most importantly, River was healthy and that's all I really wanted. I was really thankful that my mom came and that I hired Angela as my doula. I was also thankful that Anna could be there to help me communicate with Jamin. I wish I didn't hemorrhage but that was just something that happened and I can only be grateful that I recovered quickly. I remember right after having River telling myself that that would be my only child but after a couple hours I was ready for another one :) Labor is amazing in so many ways and thank God for making me a woman so that I could experience it...even if it was 25 hours long!

Dear Diaper Rash: I Freaking HATE you >:(

2010-10-15T10:40:00.008-04:00

So, despite cloth diapering...River's got a bad diaper rash. It's not bacterial or yeast related, she's just wet and sensitive. We tried two types of disposables but they made things a little worse and we tried a bunch of creams (I have Triple Paste coming in the mail). So far, the best thing for her is Desitin (40% zinc oxide used with liner to protect my cloth diapers), lots of changes, and lots of airing out (on a those training pads for pets). The biggest problem (besides seeing this awful rash on my baby girl)? My daughter has decided to pee and poop with practically every diaper change and each "airing out" session. I've been peed and pooped on trying to keep her dry at least 7 times this week! It's almost impossible to dry out the rash so that I can put cream on it. All of my efforts are working and she's healing up...it's just driving me crazy and I honestly would rather be in natural labor because I feel like I had more control in that situation! Newborn poo is no fun with rashes, especially if you have a baby who is constantly eating and going. I'm not looking for advice...just venting. I know that this diaper rash is not that big of a deal but as a mom it's just hard to see your baby's skin so red and raw :(

In other news, my poor baby girl has been choking while nursing and I found out that I have "overactive let down" aka "too much milk" thanks to Google. Thank God for my wonderful friends who blessed me with a pump to help River nurse more comfortably and store up some milk for emergencies and date nights. I tried feeding her with the bottle the other day and it was a success...even though she was REALLY confused at first...I love that girl and all of her funny faces :) I also introduced two different types of pacifiers to her and she hates them both. I guess I'll keep my role as human pacifier for awhile.

Even though it's been crazy and River is not the easiest baby (or being without Jamin is hard...either one), I can still find joy each day. I have been keeping myself in check because the last thing I want is to be depressed and not do anything about it.

Time is passing quickly and I am so pumped about spending Christmas with Jamin...I can't wait to have my best friend and soul mate near me again.

***Update: I tried cornstarch again and it really helped try out River's skin before I applied the Desitin...hopefully she heals up soon!!!

Life with Baby

2010-10-03T06:58:00.005-04:00

About 3 weeks ago I gave birth to my precious daughter River. This post is an update on life after baby. I will post my birth story as soon as it's completed...I am still gathering the info from everyone who was there.

Updates...

Mom's Visit: My mom's visit was amazing. We got along way better than ever and it took a lot of surrendering on both of our parts. Something about having a baby changes the dynamics of the mother and daughter relationship. I thank God that her visit was positive. I miss her a lot and my heart breaks for her since she can't be here with River. I was shocked with how supportive she was with my natural birth, nursing, and cloth diapering choices. There were moments where she got frustrated but with my doula there to explain everything to her, it made things better. My mom had a completely opposite experience (non-natural birth, formula, disposable diapers) and it was neat to see her learn so much from mine. Even though I took a different route than my mom, I learned a lot from her and I wanted her to know that. My mom went through a lot while she was here and I appreciate all that she sacrificed for me. At the airport, when she was about to go through security and say "goodbye", we saw an Okinawan grandma say goodbye to her grandchild and both lost it. I REALLY lost it and it was hard. I am usually able to stay strong and save my tears for the car but not this time. I told her "thank you for everything" and "I love you". She just told me to "always pray" and to "stay strong." My mom is a very spiritual person and we are very much alike. We pray, read our scriptures, and try to live according to our faiths. The main difference is who we claim as God. I offered my mom a video from church in Vietnamese but she said, "no thanks, I have my god". I can only hope and pray that one day she'll accept Christ.

Baby Weight: So, like I've said before...River is the best diet plan I've ever been on. I got to eat like a crazy woman and she ate it all in the womb. Now that I'm nursing, all of that food is making food for her and it's awesome. I gained 10 pounds with her and she weighed about 8 and then I lost another 10 from nursing. I'm also eating like crazy...I promise. I'm not trying to brag...I'm just really shocked, happy, and hoping that this happens with every Bailey Baby :). The one thing I can't stand right now is now much "fat" I have...I'm so soft and it's driving me nuts! I've lost a lot of muscle and I can't wait to start working out and toning up.

Nursing: River came out of the womb ready to nurse. They placed her on my chest for the second time after cleaning her off and she latched on right away. I was blessed that she was so ready because I heard that nursing could be difficult. The two things that I struggled most with was her latch (she's really impatient and sometimes folds her lips inward) and the couple days before my milk came in (she was REALLY hungry and fussy, poor thing). Nursing is a lot easier now and my favorite position is the side lying position because well, River and I are both lazy and we get to relax the best this way :) One thing I love about Japan is that in the malls in the baby section they have a nursery where you can change and nurse your baby in a private room. When I am in the stores on base, I've found myself nursing in a toilet stall. I don't mind nursing in public but I get a bit self-conscience when I'm alone and surrounded by strangers who are single, male, Marines and Airmen.

Cloth Diapering: A lot of people have been asking me how cloth diapering is going and I have to say that I really enjoy it. For awhile I was doing a small load of laundry a day but now that River's also fitting her one-size AIO's, I can do laundry every other day. She's gotten a small diaper rash even with CD-ing but the doc says that it's not too bad. I love how I don't have a bunch of trash to take out with CD-ing...especially with Jamin deployed (he usually takes out the trash). I hear how many people say it's inconvenient but if you really want to do, you just do it...like nursing or anything else. I haven't tried my cloth wipes (made from old t-shirts) yet since I didn't want to overload my mom (we just used unscented baby wipes) but I just got a wipe warmer and wipe solution so hopefully soon.

Getting Around: Getting around has been challenging without a husband but I have managed to run a few errands. There are days where I don't get enough sleep and I wish that someone could drive me to my destination. Grocery shopping isn't too difficult with baby wearing but carrying groceries up to the apartment can be challenging. There are times when I feel intimidated to go out with a newborn without the help of a husband or friend but I suck it up and do it anyway...there are more difficult things in life and I enjoy the challenge.

Joy: Knowing the postpartum depression is very real, I thank God that I've experienced mostly joy since giving birth. There are moments when I wish that River would just stop crying or that I could have a moment to myself but I look at her and I can't help but smile and feel all warm inside. I actually laugh more than smile because she's such a funny baby. She's so noisy and dramatic and it's just hilarious. She grunts, whimpers, and sounds like a kitten when she cries :) Another thing I love about River is that there's someone to kiss and talk to around the house! She's keeping me company while her poppa's gone. We have Bible time together and I just love kissing and sniff-kissing her (us Vietnamese folk don't kiss babies...we sniff them and suction them up to our noses...it's the best kind of kiss).

I really miss Jamin and wish that he could be here and yes, it's sometimes hard to see so many moms with their husbands and babies with their daddies but frankly I don't have the time to feel sorry for myself. I've also been blessed by so many people willing to help is whatever way. I have over 2ish months to go before Jamin gets home and I can only hope that this joy lasts and that God gives me the strength to keep on going. I believe that He will ;)

***Cloth Wipe Update: So I tried out my recycled cloth wipes (mixed with distilled water and wipe solution) with a wipe warmer and I really like it! It cleans so much gentler and better than a baby wipe and I toss my wipes into a bucket later for washing. I'm going to try to keep this up at home (baby wipes while I'm out) and see how it goes.

Just Me

2010-08-18T13:39:00.003-04:00

It's late and I should be trying to go to bed but I'm very determined to prep my newborn kissaluvs. It's also just me (as it has been for most of my marriage) so I decided to blog. Sometimes I get a little lonely but my talk radio, podcasts, Pandora, and best of all, Lord Jesus, keep me company. I can't wait till Jamin gets home...I can't imagine what it will be like when we get back to the states and we're together for more than 7 months straight...we've never been together that long before. I have friends who miss their hubbys when they go on weekend trips and all I can think of is how blessed they are. I am not bitter, I am truly happy for them...being with your hubby is just a blessing. Jamin and I have learned to take in all of the seconds that we have together. Deployment puts everything in perspective and you don't have time to take each other for granted. I miss that man. He's my best friend and soul mate.

I finally finished Ina May's Guide to Childbirth a couple of days ago and I feel like I can give birth now. Not like I am a master at giving birth, I just feel more confident, hopeful, and encouraged. It was a slower read than my other books but I loved all of the information and research that she provided. A must read on my pregnancy book list. She just came out with a new book on breast feeding but I don't think I can read it in time. I am now reading Dr. Sears' Baby Book and Vaccine Book and of course the the Word. My breakfasts' with Jesus and His Word are something that I hope to keep up with the new baby. I have friends who get their daily Word in during breast feeding...maybe I'll do that :)...we'll see.

My mom is coming in 2 weeks and I'm actually kinda looking forward to it. Yup, you read correctly. God's been helping me to be more compassionate towards her. My grandma just visited her and my mom shared with me the struggles she had with her mom. It opened my eyes to why my mom is the way she is and reminded me that I just need to love her. I wrote a long, good, bit, in my journal last night of how I need to seriously step it up and soften my heart for my mom. Lord help me...I've said this many times and the enemy always attacks. I was reminded tonight, though, that no matter what my situation is, my God is bigger than that. The battle is the Lord's (1 Sam 17:47).

Well, I should go...the newborn CD's are about dry and I need to put them in River's room. I also need to drink more antacid (warm water+baking soda, completely dissolved) because my heartburn has been killer these past 3 days...

God Bless and if your hubby is home, give him a great big kiss, a hug, and just thank God he's with you.

Seasons

2010-08-06T23:04:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is my last day as Children's Minister at CCO and I'm ready to go into the next season called "motherhood". I was blessed with the opportunity to head up VBS (which was awesome, thank God) and Sunday School. What I loved most about my season as Children's Minister was getting to know the kids, meeting new people in the church, and working with the leadership team at CCO. I loved knowing that my church was led my real, genuine, and godly people. I pray that I can find the same kind of people when we move back to the states.

VBS was so fun this year! Our theme was Egypt: Joseph's Journey from Prison to Palace and we had a bunch of local Japanese come this year. Since we are an English-Japanese church, we had everything translated into Japanese too. My favorite moments were when we were all dancing and singing praises to God in English and Japanese. It was like a tiny glimpse of what heaven might be like, when all people from different nations gather to praise God. The theme song this year was called "One True God" and it was so fitting for a country that has many idols.

In other news, I am 35 weeks along and getting very short of breath! I can't wait till River "drops" so my lungs can have the space they had before. I went to the doctors the other day and they felt my belly to give me an idea of how she might be set in there. She seems to be head down so that's great news! I asked the doctor if she could move into a breech position but the doctor thinks that since she's so packed in there, she probably doesn't have the room to flip around. I keep reminding River to stay "head down and face mommy's back"...I hope she listens!

I think my obsession of buying cloth diapers is dying down-maybe not :). My CD count is now 30 and I haven't spend too much money. I recently bought some newborn diapers which I heard good reviews on. These should be a better fit for River when she is newborn. I also won some diapers covers on eBay to go with the newborn fitted CD's and I can't wait till they all get here. I get teased about all the poop I'm going to have to deal with but did you know that technically, even if you use disposables, they recommend you put the baby's poop in the toilet? I just learned that today in a podcast! Just like everything with a new baby, I know it's not easy-breezy but I feel good about the decisions I've made. People can say this and that but when you have your own baby, you can use your own convictions to decide how you want to raise them.

My personal and mothering convictions usually always go back to doing things "the natural way". I'm not a huge environmentalist even though Jamin and I believe in reducing waist, re-using, and going green and I'm not against technological advances. I'm just big on minimizing the chemicals that my family is exposed to...to a certain extent. There's no use being a nazi about everything...life wouldn't be as fun :) I mean I love organic and natural foods but I had a whole box of kool-aid pops in like 4-5 days a couple weeks ago...and don't get me started on Church's Fried Chicken...or should I mention all of the greasy extra "butter" (oil, artificial colors, and natural flavors -aka MSG) I pumped on my popcorn last night at the movies...

Amen for God's Grace...we can't control everything and we don't have to, thank God!

My Birth Plan

2010-07-16T04:54:00.004-04:00

I decided to post my birth plan as a reference for other mothers to use when writing their personal birth plan. My doula gave me a bunch of different birth plans to look through while I was revising my draft and I found them very helpful. I took what I liked, left what I didn't, did a bunch of research, talked to a bunch of moms, prayed, and wrote my birth plan. My birth plan could still be revised since I am still reading/researching. It was a lot longer but my doula helped me simplify it. I have a packing list and goal list but they are separate from my birth plan. It is understood that in the end I just want my baby to be born healthy and that I am open to procedures not in agreement with my birth plan in case of an emergency. Please note that this is my personal birth plan and I'm not saying this is the only way one should give birth...just posting it as a reference for expecting moms.

My Birth Plan

I would like time to discuss every suggested treatment or intervention with the right to give informed consent or refusal after such discussion.

Please do not ask me if I want any pain medications during labor. I wish to give birth naturally without drugs and medications.

Interventions

-I do not want to be induced or augmented.

-I would like to avoid a c-section and have the time and opportunity to deliver using natural methods.

-I wish to avoid an episiotomy and would like taking time to push or waiting for the urge to push.

-I would like vaginal exams to be done only upon my request.

-I request a hep-lock in lieu of an IV placement.

-I would like limited/intermittent fetal monitoring.

-I would like the freedom to move around, shower, drink, and eat during labor.

-I would like the doctor to avoid the use of forceps or vacuum extraction.

-I would like local anesthesia to repair a tear if needed.

Labor/Delivery

-I would like to use a mirror to see the baby being born.

-I would like the chance to feel the baby's head when she is crowning.

-I would like the cord to be clamped and cut after it has stopped pulsating. I would like to cut the cord. If I am unable, I would like my mother to if she is present.

-I would like the baby to be placed on my chest right away for bonding and I would like to breastfeeding immediately.

-I would like to rub the vernix into my baby's skin.

-I do not want routine Pitocin to deliver the placenta. I would like breastfeeding to naturally deliver the placenta.

Postnatal:

-I would like the baby to stay with me at all times.

-I wish to delay the Vitamin K shot and eye ointment for 1-2 hours after birth. I do NOT wish to give the baby the Hep B vaccine.

-I would like to avoid pacifiers, bottles, and formula because I plan to breast-feed exclusively.

-I would like the evaluation to be done while the baby is on me. For evaluation procedures that cannot be done with the baby on me, I would like them to be delayed a couple hours after birth. I would like to give my baby her first bath.

Environment

-I would like for the lights to be dim and room to be quiet unless music provided is playing in the background.

-I would like there to be photography and the birth to be recorded on video since my husband is deployed.

4.5

2010-07-13T06:26:00.004-04:00

Updates:

-About 8 weeks left! Time is flying! I can't wait to meet River!

-I passed my 3-hour gluscose test! Yay! No Gestational Diabetes...Praise God!

-I finally gained weight! 4.5 pounds...now my doc's records don't look so crazy. I could tell I gained weight too...I think it's all in River's strong legs. She's been kicking and flipping and who knows what in there!

-I found a doula (birthing coach/patient advocate) and I am feeling so much better about giving birth. My mom will feel better too, I believe, with someone there to explain to her why I am choosing what I am choosing for my birth plan.

-I finally wrote my birth plan. I might put it on here...we'll see.

-I got some new books. These were recommended by my doula and moms at my church. They are The Vaccine Book and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. Right now I am focusing on all of my birthing books since that's coming up soon! I feel like I've read so many books since I found out I was pregnant but that's expected. I feel that as a mom I have the responsibility to educate myself as much as I can about pregnancy and childbirth. I can't fathom going into labor and "handing over" by child birth experience to the doctor without reading up on what he wants to do with me and my child. I mean, it's my body and my baby girl! I don't have anything against doctors...I just personally believe in education. I mean, I don't go to church and just take it what the pastor says...I read my Bible and do theological research if I have questions. I do what I can with what I know and I trust that God's grace and faithfulness will take care of it all.

-I haven't decided on going with re-usable baby wipes yet but I want to try. A Japanese lady at my church told me that some Japanese women cut up old t-shirts to use as reusable baby wipes. How thrifty!!! I've found some soft, cotton shirts and started a pile of baby wipes to try. I cut them out and then wash them in hot water and dry on high heat. The CDing moms told me to just soak them in distilled water and then they're good to go!

-I still hate getting groceries. I don't mind when

I'm not pregnant and my husband is not deployed. My car-seat stroller frame has been a big help in getting the heavy bags from the car to the apartment.

-I am AMAZED at God's faithfulness. I was looking through my old Xanga blog and I talked about "getting closer, spending more time, being alone with, and focusing more on God" in like, every other post. I look at my life now and God's pretty much made up for that lost time. Yes, my husband's been gone for 2/3 of my marriage but I always figure that God wants to spend more alone time with me and that time has been so fruitful!

CD-Cloth Diaper

2010-06-18T05:42:00.004-04:00

I feel like I've been blogging a lot lately...it's too bad my Facebook doesn't update from my blogger right away.

SO, today I went to a Lunch n Learn by Chisaibums to learn about CDing (cloth diapering). There were a bunch of really sweet moms there who were very informational. I decided to blog about this to help me wrap my head around everything I learned.

Here's a breakdown of what I gathered:

Definitions:

-pre-folds: an absorbent cloth that you fold and place in the diaper to soak up everything; you can layer these, sometimes they can bunch up

-diaper cover: used with a pre-fold or insert/pad, is waterproof on the outside

-AIO cloth diapers: all-in-one diapers-they include the insert/pad/liner (usually attached) and are easy to use

-pockets: some CD's have a pocket that you have to slip the pre-fold/insert/pad into-some mom's find this more work

-wet bag: a waterproof bag for your used or un-used CD's

Info:

-there are TONS of different CD's out there...use a whole bunch of different kinds or stick with one brand, it's up to you

-there are organic, natural, and synthetic CD's-I prefer organic or natural material touching the baby, the outside can be synthetic

-cotton and bamboo seem to be the best, they soak up more and are not as irritating to the baby

-if you want your baby to feel "dry"-go with a synthetic material touching your baby; if you are potty training and want your child to feel "wet" so that they can know when to go or not, stick with a natural material touching your baby

-fasteners: you can have velcro (attached to the CD), snaps (attached to the CD), pins, or plastic snaps that act like pins

-to prevent velcro from snagging while washing, you can buy big velcro pieces and stick them on the exposed velcro while washing; some CD's have a place for you to tuck the velcro when washing

-they even have re-usable wipes, they are like little cloth wipes that you apply solution or distilled water to (either by soaking or spraying); newborns should stick with distilled water for at least 2 months-less chemicals and irritants on them)

-you can't use Desitin or regular detergent with CD's-they have natural bottom balms for the babies that are CD safe and detergent should be free of dyes and perfumes (it's better for the little ones anyway)

-wool covers help keep your kid extra dry and protected-wool adjusts to the baby's temperature so they are not too hot or cool

-CD's save money (although a big investment at first), are better for the environment, and are better for your baby's health (less rashes and irritation)

-it seems like there's a lot of washing with CD's so I'm not sure about the water/electricity costs...you usually line dry so you save money there

-you can reuse and resell CD's and if you have a bunch of kids, you can save a lot of $ :)

-as your little ones grow and there "waste" grows, they have disposable liners that make clean up a lot easier; they also have diaper sprayers that attach to your toilet to make clean up even easier

-some moms use disposables when traveling and overnight use-that's up to you

I think that's all I can remember for now. There have some CD's off base and I got a 2 pack of diaper covers since they were on sale. I don't have any experience with CDing yet since River isn't born but this is the route I'd like to take. I've re-vamped my baby registry since I got a better idea of what I wanted from touching and feeling the CD's at the Lunch n' Learn. I think CDing can be intimidating but the extra work seems so worth it to me, just like exercising, healthy cooking, buying organic when I can, and re-using my shopping bags...it just makes sense. I hope that my blog post helped anyone who was interested in trying out CD's and I hope that I have a good CDing experience once River is born!

Wow...when Jamin gets back he's gonna have a lot to learn. He has 9 siblings so he got disposable diapers down to a T but cloth diapering? He can do it :) I'll send him this blog post to give him a head start :)

Perspective

2010-06-16T13:10:00.003-04:00

Well I'm finally in my 3rd trimester! I'm sleeping like crazy (note that it is about 3 am because I slept from 6-9 pm) and I'll probably get another 8-10 hours in the am hours. My sleeping schedule is whack but I guess that's what happens! I miss going to church Wednesday nights but I've been passing out to sleep. Growing a baby takes work! I'm surprised that I can still make Sunday mornings (of course I almost always sleep the afternoon and night away on Sundays too).

In other preggo news, my friend Anna got me a fetal heart monitor as a baby shower gift and it's been a blessing. I'm supposed to count my baby movements but when River gets really "chill" it's reassuring to check her heartbeat. I know that professionals say that to be careful because patients aren't "trained" to hear heartbeats but it's such an obvious sound to me that it hasn't been hard to pin-point. River's got a loud, strong heartbeat...thank God :) Another neat thing about this monitor is that I can record River's heartbeat on my Garageband and send it to Jamin. They also say that you can record the mother's heartbeat and play it on a CD to soothe the baby after she's born to keep her calm (since that's what she's been listening to for so long).

Alrighty, now for non-preggo stuff, I really miss Jamin. It's been a challenging week with my car dying twice and having to lug things up and down to my apartment. I know Jamin would be here if he could but that's just life. God has him somewhere else right now. It's challenging and frustrating at times (like the car not starting when I have to be somewhere and just packed it full of stuff for my photo-shoot with Kerry Mills) but there are always blessings to count. Sometimes I wonder why two people so in love have to be apart so often but I guess that's just life. I mean, the fact that our love for each other is so great is a huge blessing in itself so I guess there's not much to complain about. I have a precious girl in my belly, I'm taken care of with shelter, food, health care, and an amazing church. On top of that, I have an amazing God and heavenly Father. These are the things that I have to remind myself when I'm trying not to have a breakdown. I firmly believe that perspective can make you or break you and perspective comes from what you fill your heart and mind with. If you fill your life with Truth, Truth will guide your perspective. Yes, we have our moments, breakdowns, and cloudy days but we're human and the awesome thing is that we don't have to merely rely on ourselves to keep us sane. There's someOne who's got it...He understands life, He created it! And I am thankful for that.

Eating like a Maniac

2010-06-08T06:42:00.004-04:00

So I'm 27 weeks this week and on Monday I went in for a check up. Here's a quick summary:

-I still haven't gained weight. Seriously?!!!! Are you kidding me???!!!! (That's what I yelled in the doc's office while the nurse laughed at me) I'm eating like a maniac! Everyone who knows me knows I LOVES my food. I got on the scale and the SAME number popped up since my first appointment in February. The belly is definitely there and I guess the weight has shifted. I guess this is a blessing in a lot of ways...I know that River's eating a lot of my food so that's nice. She's such a good baby. I feel like God's been giving me grace with Jamin gone. I feel so healthy pregnant and I just love my belly. When I'm not pregnant, I gain weight easily and I have a belly full of fat instead of a belly full of life :)
-I failed my 1 hour glucose test. No shocker there...it's frustrating but I've been diagnosed pre-diabetic before and I had to check my blood sugar and go on the diabetic diet in college. Now I have to take the 3 hour test (blah) and I hope that I pass that one. Praying for no gestational diabetes!
-River's heartbeat is still going strong :) Jamin got me an iPhone for Christmas which I didn't want (because it was a want and not a need) but it's been such a blessing! I got to send him the video of her heartbeat right away. Thank God for technology!

Well that's it really...Emily left a couple of days ago so I'm adjusting back to busy life. I'm spending most of my days eating, sleeping, and preparing for VBS. While she was here she taught me how to quilt so that's been a new addiction in my life. I hope to teach River everything I know so that she can be well-rounded domestic diva :) If she hates everything then oh well, I'll embrace her for who she is. She could be just like her poppa, calm, patient, and completely NOT artsy fartsy :) And that's ok, because I'm TOTALLY IN LOVE with him :)

Miss You, Not You

2010-05-23T10:00:00.005-04:00

Things I Miss
1) Jamin-everything about him
2) Taking Dr.Templar's grad-school classes with Cassandra (fun times)
3) King Tut's Egyptian Sampler (yummy)
4) Being able to wear Thai Pants (the waste is GONE...can't tie em' on right)
5) Church Summer Camp and CIY with Jacki, Joe, Clay, and Ryan
6) Authentic Pho (Vietnamese Beef Noodle Soup)
7) Being in a band
8) Dressing up in costume and running around JBC campus
9) Working on Musicals with Cassandra and Josh
10) Visiting Emily when she worked at a coffee shop and having her bless me with the perfect meal and drink
11) Staying up late and talking with my mom, grandma, and aunt and laughing about how we are all alike (outspoken and crazy) and yet we get onto each other all the time
12) Going to Churches Chicken with my dad as a little girl
13) Telling bedtime stories about fish to my brother when he was a toddler
14) Thrifts stores, garage sales, and church rummage sales on Saturday mornings
15) Going to Nama Sushi Bar with Rachel (my roomie) on Valentine's Day and ordering the classic Ceviche...and wondering if everyone thought we were a couple

Things I DON'T MISS
1) Grading papers with Jamin instead of hanging with him when he came home for only 2 days from a deployment
2) Writing the Literature Review of my thesis (NOT fun times)
3) My tonsils and adenoids
4) My life before Jesus
5) Elementary, Middle, or High School
6) Dr. Trotter's Idents (love the man, not the exams)
7) Trying to find the perfect husband (found him!)
8) The way Jamin and I ate when we first got married
9) Being on like 7 pills a day and 4 shots a week to control my stomach problems and allergies (now I just take vitamins :) )
10) Not knowing how to use a planner and keep a room clean
11) The colitis I got from the Philippines
12) Not working out regularly and feeling lethargic
13) When my parents didn't hug and say "I love you's" (I forced them and now they do!)
14) The feeling I got when I dropped a $3,700 Taylor guitar that didn't belong to me (yup...true story...it got fixed though!)
15) My wedding day (married the right man...that's what counts)

UpDaTe :)

2010-05-19T05:40:00.001-04:00

Where do I begin? I'm better at lists and points so I'll go that route.

Jamin's Deployment: It's been over a week since Jamin's been deployed and by God's grace, I am doing really well. I knew that I could not go at this deployment without God's help so I've made an effort to cling to Him daily in His Word and it's been awesome. He has truly given me the peace that surpasses all understanding and the strength and joy that can only be found in Him. I've also been clinging to my planner which always helps the days go by faster :) In two weeks my good friend Emily is visiting so that should be a fun 2 weeks. I've been blessed with great friends and a church family to get me through and I thank God for it all.

Good Books: I'm reading a bunch of books (most dealing with pregnancy) but here are some that I have really enjoyed. Check 'em out!
Super Natural Home by Beth Greer- An eye opening book about what we are exposed to on a daily basis and what we can do to have a healthier home.

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney- An awesome book about being a godly wife, mother, and woman. I LOVE this book and it is full of truths that every woman should know. This is definitely on the "book list" for River's future curriculum :)

Pregnancy: Man oh man is my body changing! I have experienced some bad back aches that I'm sure is no where near the pain I'll feel when I deliver this precious daughter of mine. Does this change my mind on having a drug-free natural birth? Nope. I know people think I'm crazy and I haven't had as much support as I would like but I am really passionate about this. Again, I know that I can't control everything and if needed, I may have to have a c-section. I also know that I may be asking for drugs on that day but my heart really wants to experience everything. A lady at my church had her children naturally and drug-free and she said that it was really an awesome experience. She also said that when she read about the pains of childbirth in the Bible, she could fully relate and that was a blessing to her. It's not like I'm asking for a medal of honor or anything...I just want to know what it's like to give birth like the billions of women who did in the past. I just want the experience and I trust the God will help me. Thankfully, my friend Christina has stepped up to act as my "doula". I have faith that she'll be great :)

Motherhood: I have so much to learn! I know that I can't read everything and I'll just have to gain from experience. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time! I have 4 months to build my trust in the Lord that He'll take care of me as I go through motherhood boot camp. One thing I've been looking into is cloth diapering. Geez-Louise there are like a thousand different kinds out there! I've met a few CD (cloth diapering) moms and it's been very informational. I recently bought some pre-used diapers and they seem really neat (and clean!). I like the bamboo-organic kinds but they are pricey. My prayer is that I can save our family some money by going this route. I am open to using disposables when we're traveling and if needed but I really hope I can get this CD thing down. Speaking of saving money, I've found so many good deals lately! I got a leachco safer bather for 2 bucks, two sposoeasy cloth diapers for 10 bucks, a graco car seat AND converter for 60 bucks, a cute onesie for 1 buck, a car seat snug head rest for 50 cents, an eddie bauer care seat cover (acts as a blanket) for 2 bucks, a cute crib set (bumper, quilt, skirt) originally from Target for 8 bucks, and a bunch of new safety outlet covers for 50 cents each! I love saving money! I love thrift stores and garage sales! In fact, if people got the things on my baby registry used, with all parts, and in good condition...I'd love it! Some things I'd like new like a breast pump (due to concerns on safety/cleanliness) but seriously... there's so much "stuff" out there that needs to be reused.

Told Ya, Mom!

2010-05-07T04:05:00.003-04:00

This morning we had our third prenatal check-up. I am currently 22ish weeks. We were finding out the results of our quad screening and ultrasound. Here's a summary:

-I haven't gained a pound-I'm sure that will change real fast, real soon!

-According to the ultrasound, I could be due by September 3rd

-River has a good, strong heartbeat :)

-River is healthy! She's got all her fingers and toes and the blood results look good!

-Praise the Lord!

I felt River kick for the first time on May 5th at 3:55 am. I giggled, shed some happy tears, and woke up Jamin to feel her. It was perfect because I was hoping that he could feel her before he deployed since you can't e-mail or send a "baby kick" to Afghanistan. :) God is faithful!

At the appointment this morning, as the doctor was telling me the good results, I could feel River moving around and somewhat "nudging" me. It was like she was saying, "told ya mom! I'm fine...God's got me" :)

I am so excited about my little girl and I can't wait until her poppa gets to hold her. Please pray for Jamin and I as we get through this deployment!

Hello River!

2010-04-22T06:54:00.004-04:00

Today we had an ultrasound to see how baby was doing and hopefully find out the gender. We got to the hospital and the ultrasound lady came out and met us. She told us that Jamin would have to wait while she did some scans and make a comprehensive report for the radiologist. I went in and she started scanning...I peeked as much as I could and there was baby...big, healthy (to my knowledge), and beautiful. I didn't know what I was looking at most of the time but I could make out the head and I saw her zoom in on the heart and mark all of the valves (I recall the heartbeat being 156 bpm). It was amazing. I could also see all of the bones in the spine. Life is such a miracle and of course I teared up a little bit...it was just so beautiful. After what seemed like an hour, she called Jamin in and he was ready with camcorder and tripod. Come to find out, we are not allowed to take any video or pictures (which I thought was weird because this is my body and baby!). We were bummed but got over it because she was about to tell us the gender. She zoomed in under the baby's legs and showed us the three famous lines...it's a girl! River Eden Hien Bailey to be exact. When I found out I was so excited because I just "knew" that it was a girl. Funny thing is, is that Jamin and I couldn't decided on a boy's name on the way to the hospital so I was hoping it was a girl since we had that name settled. On top of that, I had two dreams of delivering a girl, and I was hoping to have a daughter first...so we could be like my mom and I (crazy as that seems). My dad was also hoping for a girl and this would be the first grand-daughter in the Bailey family (my sister-in-law has two boys). Also, I had a bunch of people tell me that they couldn't imagine with a boy...just a colorful daughter. Oh yeah, another thing...I have been so emotional and teary lately and I knew that there was something female goin on. I am so excited for my daughter because she has such a good daddy and I can't wait to see Jamin in that role. She will be so, so, blessed! What's really awesome is that at church I've been learning about biblical womanhood and I can't wait to shape my daughter into the type of woman God has called her to be. By God's grace, she will grow up to love the Lord and fulfill her calling as His daughter. Praise the Lord for baby's health, the blessing of being able to see baby, and an awesome husband to share this experience with!!!

Bumpin

2010-03-18T10:07:00.004-04:00

Seems like I blog once a month so here's my entry for March...

I'm 15 weeks today and my belly is most definitely "bumpin". I have been measuring and weighing myself weekly and logging it in my pregnancy planner and so far I've gained hardly anything...I even lost some weight but I'm eating I promise! I've been blessed with an easy pregnancy (so far) so eating hasn't been an issue...has it EVER been an issue? I heart food.

Jamin, my beloved, best friend, total hottie, boyfriend, and manly husband is coming home soon and I can't wait. I miss his smell and his kisses. 7 months straight is going to be the longest we've been apart when he deploys. God help me. He will.

We go in for our second ultrasound in about 2 weeks and hopefully we can find out if we are having a little girl or boy. I wanted to wait a little longer before the ultrasound but we are going to Singapore in April and I wanted to know what to shop for. I'm still debating on getting a 4D ultrasound out in town...I don't want to over expose my precious one to too much. We'll see. There are so many things to consider when you are responsible for a baby...thank God there's faith and reliance on the Lord.

All has been going pretty well except for the fact that I sleep TOO well now...like 16 hours the other day...crazy right? My back has also been aching a little today but nothing I can't bear. I will admit though, that sometimes I'd like to rip off my nose because my sinuses have gone crazy...I mean, they were already crazy but maybe this is part of the wonderful pregnancy.

My childhood friend Mel came to visit me for two weeks and blessed me with laughter, adventure, and company. Thanks Mel!

God is still being faithful as always. I am still trying to read His word everyday and it always reaps benefits. I have a feeling that we will be going through a lot this year.

Alright, I guess that's it for my update. I don't know if I can think of anything else...my brain has not been working so well so I've been clinging to my planner and "notes" app on my iPhone.

Great is Your Faithfulness

2010-02-18T09:10:00.004-05:00

I am 11 weeks today and I have been feeling really well. So well that I get worried and anxious that there's something wrong with the baby. I am almost in the 2nd trimester which is supposed to be the best time of pregnancy so I guess all is normal. The only thing that is still getting to me is the bathroom trips. No, it's not an exaggeration...you go all of the time!

I've been keeping track of my weight and measurements each week and I haven't really gained anything. My measurements have stayed average too but I can tell that the shape of my body is changing. I haven't had a problem eating or keeping anything down...I guess the baby is just using it all up!

I had my first ultrasound 2 weeks ago and was totally expecting them to rub gel on my belly and do it like the movies...nope. Not so much. Let's just say that the doc said "and...there's your baby!" and I was thinking "whoa, that goes there?" instead of enjoying the sight of my baby. Shocking and unexpected. Come to find out I read all about the procedure in my Mayo Clinic book the week after. After I got over the shock, I got to watch my baby's heart pumping (you can actually see it!) and hear it's heartbeat and see it's head and little nubs. Probably the most beautiful sight of my life...it beat the sunrise on top of Mt. Fuji, looking down from Masada, and and sailing on the Sea of Galilee.

A lot of things change...you think, "wow that does that? ...yuck!...woah!... what the heck?" and you google everything to see if you're out of whack...and 99.9 percent of the time, you're going through the norms.

I have been reading a big stack of books and just ordered more...I just started Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and it looks like it's going to be a great book. I decided to have a natural birth way before I conceived but the more I learn about childbirth, the more I'm glad I made that choice. I am open to any emergency changes but I am really passionate about this. I am also passionate about breast feeding and I pray for God's grace to guide me through all of this.

I have to say that the BEST book that I have read in preparation to motherhood is no other than the Holy Word of God. Our Women's Ministry is doing a 30 challenge to being in God's Word and it's been awesome. Our guide book is A Thirty-Day Walk with God in the Psalms by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I have often struggled with my daily time in God's Word this challenge has blessed me so much in that area. I pray that I can model a quiet time with the Lord each day so that my children will be able to do that same. So many times has His Word showered me with peace, comfort, and wisdom in my times of anxiety when it comes to being a mom. Not only that but I have been so, so, so blessed by the godly, wise, and loving women at Calvary Chapel Okinawa. My mom is not a Christian and I have always longed for a Christian motherly figure to guide me. God is so awesome that he's placed several women to fill that role for me (Nannette, Jodi, Shellee, Amanda, the list goes on...). God is so, so, good and faithful. I remember longing for a Christian family when I was single and He gave me a husband with an awesome godly family of 12. Two parents and 10 kids who love the Lord...God, You are awesome. Another thing that God has blessed me with is supportive friends who have been there for me during this big change. Cassandra is like my info-gather girl and Christina reminds me to be rational when I ask her all of these paranoid health questions (she works in the fitness field). Johanna is my little prayer warrior and there are tons of ladies on facebook who give me great advice and encouragement ;)

Thank you Lord for all that you've blessed me with.

Ch-Ch-Changes

2010-01-12T05:37:00.002-05:00

It has been a LONG time since I blogged last. Since then I have been to Israel, the States, and back. Oh, and I recently found out that I am going to be a mom.

What a blessing! I have waited almost my whole life for this moment. I used to stuff my belly with my blankie and try to take kids home with me when my mom was shopping...I was 5 or 6. I knew that when I was ready to be a mom I didn't want to "try", I just wanted to "trust". My whole life I struggled with doing way too much and pushing God aside. I'm seriously sick of that.

I have been doing well, I am about 5 weeks and my estimated due date is Sept 10th or 11th. We will know more when I get an ultrasound. Sometimes I find myself anxious that I'm going to lose this little one inside me but then I just sigh and remind myself that God's got it.

I haven't been feeling too nauseous and I think that a big part of it is that I keep telling myself I'm not "sick" :) Whatever works right? I have been having a hard time sleeping. I have my huggy pillow to help but Geez Louise it's been a challenge. I feel like my bed is too small and that Jamin's a heater that just won't shut off. I moan, toss, and turn all night...poor Jamin.

I've been tired but trying to stay active. Baby and I hung out on the elliptical last night for about 50 minutes...I hope I can keep that going. We have been eating well: about 90% organic, whole grain, little meat, and avoiding the pregnancy "don'ts". Thank you Amy's Organic Frozen Foods...I love you....especially if I need a quick bite. I have to say that I'm glad I discovered Michael Pollan early last year...he gave me a jump start on eating healthy.

I'm trying to avoid any harsh chemicals around me. I think I'm going to switch back to my natural deodorant because it's right next to my baby's future food source. I haven't used ammonia or heavy fumed hair dye, and I don't think I'm going to be bleaching for awhile. My pink hair dye is practically fume-free so that's a plus.

I have decided to have a natural childbirth but I understand that anything can change. I am thinking about cloth diapers but we will see. I am also going to breast feed and Lord Jesus help me through all of this!

Jamin will most likely be in Afghanistan when the baby is born and I have accepted that. There's no use in wallowing, I'll have Jesus at my side anyway.

Jamin is really happy and I love it when he comes home and gives my belly a kiss after I get mine. We've been writing to our baby in a journal and I can't wait till he or she can read it.

We pretty much have our names picked out but again, that can change. We'd like to know the gender of our baby too. I have a feeling that it's a girl but it's just a "feeling". No definite proof yet. :)

I have two desires: that 1, my child will grow up to love the Lord with all of his or her heart, soul, and mind, and that 2, he or she and I will have a healthy pregnancy.

Yawn....it's only 8 at night!

Accountability and Identity

2009-10-16T12:21:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting here at 1:22 am...sick and well, awake. I fell sleep for 5 hours today during the day so my sleeping schedule is all whack. I am getting sleep though, along with lots of fluids and vitamin C so hopefully I will get back on my feet soon. My fever has gone away too, so soon enough, I should be back to normal. This is the first time I've been sick without my tonsils and adenoids and I have to say this it is pretty awful. Usually, my tonsils and throat hurts...but without the extra tissue to absorb all of the "sickness", it spread out to my ears, neck, and head. I felt like my head was going to explode. There are far worse things in life though.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how blessed I have been spiritually. I used to think that accountability was something you "got" and "sought" after when you were caught up in sin and were trying to flee. But since I've been in Okinawa, I've learned that it is just something you have as part of your walk with Christ on earth. I have been blessed, immensely, with accountability through Johanna and Calvary Chapel Okinawa. I know God gave me these awesome people in my life but man, how could I thank my God for such amazing people? I know that it is rare. I know that it will not always be this way. I have heard from some of my friends that they are feeling "lonely" or "spiritually disconnected" where they are at. My prayer is that it would soon change for them, and that they find a community of like-minded and spiritually-hearted people. My fear is that when I leave Okinawa, I will lose this sense of family. I've been through spiritual highs and lows but since being here, it's been a spiritual constant. I can't say that it's all because of the people around me but I can say that they have been a big part of it. I don't want to "crash" when we leave this place. I don't want it to be that feeling of emptiness that you get after Christian camp or some revival/convention. I guess that all I can do is have faith. I can continue to seek His face in all circumstances. It's not like life has been a breeze since being here. Actually, it's because of little (and sometimes big) trials that I have felt the need to rely on God even more. With Jamin being gone so often, it's all I can do...rely on God. I figure God must really wanna spend some time with me...he keeps placing my husband in places where I am not. It's hard, but I am safer and better off being near God. I love my husband with so much of me, but when it comes down to it, I love my God more. In fact, the best way to love my husband is to love my God first.

I also thank God for my identity. We all get caught up is such an identity crisis sometimes. Especially us women. Am I thin enough? Am I talented enough? Am I pretty enough? Do I listen to the coolest bands? Do I own the most expensive things? It all makes me so sick! What am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? I'm God's daughter. I'm supposed to Love God and his people. So simply stated yet sometimes so hard to grasp...but thank God there's an answer to these questions that we beat ourselves up with. I am so happy that my identity and worth is not based on my clothing, hair color, and the car I drive. I need to be reminded of this everyday (every 5 minutes even)...that's how annoyingly influential the world is.

I don't really know where I was going with this post. I think that I just wanted to get out that I am thankful and that I give God the glory for all of the good in my life. Thank You God for my family, my friends, and my life.

Transformation

2009-10-02T06:02:00.003-04:00

Ok, I guess it's been about a month so I should update. First of all, today was a humbling day. I had an awesome time babysitting the Barnett kids but in the process I scartched/dented my car against their gate and got "chewed" out passive agressively my some woman in the parking lot.

The awesome part was that with each humbling situation, God showed me how much he had been tranforming my heart.

For these past weeks, I have been working on getting rid of "stuff" (two boxes of clothes and 20+pairs of shoes and then some). I have been feeling convicted about how much value I put on "stuff".

So then, God decided to give me an opportunity to "let go" of such "things"... I scratced and dented my car. My stomach dropped, my teeth clenched, my lungs took a deep breathe, but my heart and mind didn't "react". I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I took it, and I was ok. OK...NOT typical Crystal reaction. I usually would have screamed, kicked myself for about 3 days, call myself 50 names, and kicked the gate. But I didn't, and it's going to be ok...really.

I have also been working on my heart and loving others. Putting others before myself and having a humble spirit. This is something I have been working on for years. A woman and I had a misunderstanding in the parking lot and she thought that I "stole" her parking spot. She flipped out when she got out of the car and starting talking very loudly about me to her baby and husband. I went over there and apologized. APOLOGIZED? Praise God! Usually, irrational-confrontation-loving Crystal would have gone over there to chew her out (like I did back in the day to this poor girl and her family...and a handful of other people) Wow...God is good.

All of this is due to my spending time with God and His Word (Praise God again!). I've fallen in Love again with what He has to say and it's been awesome. It's not like I'm dragging my feet anymore. What's even more awesome is that I am learning all over again how to read His Word, meditate on it, listen, and obey. It's not some cheesy legalistic daily verse thing anymore (not that daily verses are bad- the way I did it was bad)...its got depth, and it's transforming.

I've been busy, but a good busy. I have been so blessed leading worship for the Women's Bible Study. It's been so fulfilling, along with playing drums occasionally for the worship team. I just love singing and playing for the Lord. I LOVE it! I also finally got a digital piano and I hope to use that for Him also. PRAISE GOD again, for the billionth time, that my voice is back.

I've also taken up the Children's Ministry and I can feel the enemy already wanting me to feel inadequate. I know that it was needed and I wanted to serve where I was needed. I will miss the worship team on Sundays but am reminded on how it is about Him and where he needs me. He'll guide me where He sees fit.

My prayer is that I will continue to tranform. I know that at these times, the enemy is ready to strike...but seriously, my God is bigger than that.

Strength and Weakness

2009-08-12T22:45:00.004-04:00

It's been awhile. What have I been up to? Traveling Asia and growing in the Lord. Since deciding not to work this year, I've gone thru much needed surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids which has fixed my voice problem. I've gone back to singing and leading worship at church. I also picked up playing the cajon which is soooo fun. I've read a few good books, In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, which has changed my view of food, What's the Difference?: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible by John Piper which has helped me understand myself as God's daughter, and I'm currently reading Hebrews, which is speaking so loudly to me about faith and how mighty God is, Crazy Love By Francis Chan, which is helping me to turly live for Christ, and Hard Sayings of Paul by Manfred Brauch and The Problem of Painby C.S. Lewis are my bathroom books. :) We'll see if I finish those...they are random...I know. I don't often read...but this has been nice.
I've been very weak (physically/emotionally) this week from getting a stomach infection and dealing with other things but I have never felt so strong (spiritually/mentally) in my life. I don't know how long I will be in this state but I know that I want to be here for long time. I haven't desired things for a while. When I say "things"...I mean stuff...junk...something to make myself better than the rest...something to fill me temporarily. I think, that I am finally getting an understanding on my identity in Christ. I don't feel like I have to answer to anyone but Christ and it feels good...better than good...it feels best. I don't "need" this or that to feel "fullfilled". I have a purpose...and that's being God's daughter and servant. Really, when it comes down to it...that's it. For so long I felt like I needed a degree or a title like, "wife", "mom", "teacher", "musician", "artist", to be significant. But those titles are nothing...if I give them the power to determine who I am, I have taken away title of what God has ALREADY, with a huge price, given me. I'm sick of comparing myself to others and trying to please others.

I would not have had this realization had it not been for a lot of pain that I don't want to go into. I pray that I don't forget what I have written and realized. I praise God that He is truly strong when we are weak.

On a lighter note, I hope to climb Mt. Fuji next week. This should be a test for me. I hope to see God in my journey to the top. After this trip, it'll be back to cleaning house and prayerfully picking up and helping with Children's ministry. I also have a few Sundays where I am leading worship and I need to get those sets together. It's been a long time and I pray that I don't put myself before God in any of it. I am excited to see what God is going to do this year...He's done so much already! Jamin and I are praying where God will have us after Okinawa...perhaps we'll know for sure soon. Jamin will be gone a lot with Afghanistan and I'm starting to realize that by the time he gets back, and we're leaving Oki...it may be Spring 2011...and I'll be turning 28 that year with no little Bailey's running around. I seriously thought I'd be a mom at like, 23. We'll see where that goes. My future seems really colorful, mysterious, and chaotic. I guess that's ok...it'll have to be if I'm going to trust God.

I Know, it has been FOREVER.

2009-02-09T08:19:00.003-05:00

A random list:

I don't know why I am blogging...I guess I just wanted to get back to it and record some of my praises. (We'll see how long it lasts)

I had a very blessed day today. Johanna and I had a nice dinner and got a soothing pedicure at this nail salon...something we both needed after a weekend of writing report cards.

I am doing pretty well...God is so good to me and blessing me each day. I have really been blessed by the people like Johanna. She loves the Lord, loves clear communication, and is crazy, wicked, fun. It is one beautiful relationship.

I miss Jamin a lot...I love that boy so stinking much.

I am talking with God about the future...things are becoming clearer. (Hey! That rhymes!)

I may be with my Emily, Cassandra, Rachel, and Trin if God leads us that way...we'll see (Did your heart jump Cassandra??? )

God has taken something very annoying such as my voice falling apart and made it into something beautiful. For the first time in a LONG time, I sang for worship and wasn't shaking, freaking out, or hyperventilating (I hide it well if you haven't noticed). God has HUMBLED me by taking away my comfortable, clear, easy-breathing throat, so that I can't "perform" for Him when I lead or sing for worship. My throat is still annoying but I am praising and worshiping the Lord with all of my heart and soul...and that is one beautiful place I want to stay. He is so, so good.

I love the church God has given me here.

I love the class that God has given me this year.

I am planning to go to Hong Kong with Pen this Spring Break. I am anxious (as always) but really pumped.

OK, I'm done.

It's Good to Back

2008-07-16T18:37:00.002-04:00

Jamin and I went to church last night and I must say, "It's good to be back." Fellowshipping last night was a true blessing. I was a bit under the weather (and still am a little) but it was a great experience. I got to see old friends and I just felt "at home" again. Praise the Lord :)

Jamin got a bike yesterday...yay! We are going on a bike ride tonight. I got to ride my bike yesterday and I went to the local grocery store, MaxValue. It was 99 yen Wednesday. Did I mention that I loved Japan? I don't know why but I just love riding my bike out in town. I guess I just feel safe and free. Jamin and I are considering going to the base in Cali after Oki (I would like to stay here, but it's all in the talks). After that, we hope that we get into the FAO program. The FAO (Foreign Area Officers) program will allow us to live in another country for a long period of time and stick together as a family. I told Jamin I'd have our kids in a hut if it meant that we would be together.

I Wanna Be an Early Riser!

2008-07-15T17:53:00.003-04:00

This jet lag thing has been great...I wake up early, sleep early, and I love it. We woke up at 5:15 this morning and went for a run. Today marks the day that Jamin and I get hard core about exercise and diet. It's not really a "diet", it's just getting back into a life style change. While he was gone I had changed my lifestyle and he had changed his...we both got lazy in the states and now we're doing it together and it's really fun!!! This morning we had 3 boiled egg whites for breakfast and I have to say that having breakfast with my husband is a true blessing. I also ran WAY FURTHER than I thought I would. Once you get fit, it's easier to stay fit. Even though I slacked a bit in the states, some of my energy and muscle still stayed.

At about 6-7am (now), the sun catches my solar-powered rainbow maker in my living room and mini-rainbows dance around the room...this is another reason I like waking up early.

Tonight we are going to church and I am so excited. Jamin and I haven't gone to Calvary together in a long, long time. There are so many people I want to introduce to him.

Life is good. My devo this morning was focused on 1 Corinthians 10:31–11:1. I seriously need to take this verse to heart. I've been going the "Our Daily Bread" series. They are short, simple, and yet for me...very transforming. I like how you can click on the verse reference and it takes you to Bible Gateway (just in case you don't have a Bible handy). It's amazing how many times once verse can impact you numerous times in your life. God's Word is truth, power, life.

Home Sweet Home

2008-07-14T16:56:00.002-04:00

It's 5:56am over here in Okinawa. I haven't really suffered from jet lag too bad. I wake up really early and get things done and that's cool with me. When I went to the states...jet lag was AWFUL.

I finally got to eat my favorite foods that I had been missing from home- natto and marinated sashimi. I love Japan. I seriously love it here sooooo much. I was slightly, almost, considering, being weary of coming back but when I finally arrived...I felt so at home. My neighbors came to pick us up from the airport and the girls on my floor made me a welcome home sign. They are moving up to the 6th grade this fall and the banner was full of Disney High School Musical characters :).

It's not like I don't miss the states...well I kind of don't...I just miss the people. I had so much fun with Jamin's family and the visit with my family wasn't that bad. I miss Cassandra...since I haven't talked to her in a very, very, long time (psssst! please e-mail me...update me....call me...I love you and miss you). I also haven't talked to Emily in forever and Rachel in forever. I miss all you girls.

Good possible news...I will probably get to go to Korea with Jamin for a week. For some reason, the new Colonel allows wives to go with their husbands on some trips. It will be in about a week and I will have to pay for my own transportation but I am uber-pumped about the opportunity! I love traveling! I hate packing :(

I called my principal to see if I was free to go to Korea and he said I was fine. I am to go to the school sometime soon to sign my contract and get my room key. I am very anxious and excited about teaching. My own classroom...I've been waiting for so long. I hope that I can serve God well on this journey. I know that I need to be prepared spiritually because this job is a mission for Him. Jamin and I were talking about our spiritual lives and we really want to focus more on spending individual and couple time with Him. We pray together but it's time to dig deeper. We always make an effort to give thanks during meals (which by the way, we think is very important to not make a ritual but rather a genuine moment of gratitude) and we share prayer requests but I think that it's the individual time with Him that is most important and need improving. I subscribed to an RSS feed for a daily devotional to help remind me each day. I was hesitant at first because I thought that I was being impersonal but I realized that I was still getting the Word in...just differently. I am always checking my e-mail and getting online...I might as well add my time with Him to the mix. I hope that I can get a positive result out of it. I still want to take time out with God while not being online...I just want to make sure that He comes before my e-mails.

Speaking of God...I miss my church. I think that's one reason I missed Okinawa so much. I was so spiritually drained in the states. I had forgotten how much a fellowship with believers could fuel your walk with God. Finding the right church is not easy but man is it important. I pray that when we move...we can find another good church. I have to admit that there were many times that I was not acting like Christ while I was at home. The fact that I had slipped on my daily time with God and not being as active in church made we weaker and more open to Satan's lies. I had to say sorry to my mom like 50 times.

All right...time to unpack my clothes...and I seriously need to get back into working out. Tomorrow starts me and Jamin's intense workout and healthy life make-over plan. Go away belly!!!

Thoughts and Updates

2008-06-05T18:25:00.002-04:00

On Friends: I finally got to visit my friends and it was a true blessing. I got to see Cassandra, Rachel, Em, Chase, Trinity, Joe, Neil and so many others. Cassandra and I had a blast making iMovies and just being together. My cheeks got a great workout from laughing so much with her. Oh, the fun times. Watch out for our new videos on YouTube. Time went by too, too fast but it was all worth it. Rachel and I spent a lot of our time walking around Downtown Knoxville and eating really good food. She will always be my roomie. I got to see Joe at church and I didn't realize how much I missed him. I also spent a long time with Neil and we got to catch up on life, theology, and politics. I stayed a couple of days with Chase and Em and man...I love those two. We had a blast and wrote/recorded a ridiculous song. Our band name is The Polychord Selectors. Our song is on MySpace. I cut both of their hair and gave Em some cotton candy pink highlights. She looks beautiful.

On Family: I'm back home and well, it's going ok. My mom is crazy...but I love her anyway.

On MySpace: I am still getting friend requests from guys who, well,...let me explain. I get a friend request and then I visit their page to see if their friends are my friends and what do I find? That practically all of their "friends" are random Asian women. Creepy.

On Shoes: I finally got some Chacos and it was really hard to decide between sandals and flip flops. I went with the sandals...they are black and very comfy. Arch support!

On Politics: Well, Obama's the Democratic nominee. McCain vs. Obama. Sucks for Hillary...the race was sooooo close! Oh well. This will be an interesting election. I used to say that I would write-in Jesus Christ on my ballot but I realize that Jesus would not have run for President. I think that their should be more of a balance between Christianity and politics. I want to vote for what reflects my beliefs but I find that some are turning Jesus into the politician that He never was.

On Jesus: I love Him. I know He wants me to instill more of His Word in my heart, mind and soul. I need to work on that. I am also pumped about my new mini-Bible. It's so colorful! I ripped out the young girl's devos that came with it (because some of it was really ridiculous) and I can't wait to put it to more use.

On Love: I love my friends. I am thankful that they love me too. They accept me; they make me better. I love my husband and I long to be with him once again. I can't wait!

And the Battle Rages On

2008-05-09T23:13:00.003-04:00

I haven't felt sad, mad, bad, in a long time...until now. My mom is really "challenging" me. I miss my house...my cleaner and more organized house. I miss my church and my Japanese grocery stores. I miss my husband.

I am looking forward to seeing my friends and hanging with them but for now I am stuck here in AL and going on a week long trip with my mom to visit relatives in TX. I found out about this trip when I arrived. I miss my relatives but I dread the "you're fat" and "you need to give your brother money" comments.

I need grace and love. I had forgotten how challenging life was back in AL. I want to be an example but sometimes it's just so hard. I get put in these situations where I feel like I need to "teach" my mom how to act appropriately. I'm just so tired of being the "adult". Everyone goes to me and tells me to talk to this person or that person about these little issues and they want me to fix everything. I can't take up all of these roles. They want me to fix everything yet when I stand for what I believe in, they disagree and get mad.

I wish I had someone here with me to help me get through all of this. I guess I have Jesus.

I think I just realized that I am dealing with a huge spiritual battle here. There are idols all over this house, a statue of Buddha in almost every car driven, my mom burns incense for Buddha occasionally, and offers food for him. I'm also about to stay at my grandmother's and she's basically a Buddhist monk.

Oh God, please give me strength. Amen.

He Gives Us Good Things

2008-04-20T06:15:00.002-04:00

Something about riding my bike to the Japanese grocery store really makes me joyful. I think it's the simplicity of the experience that gets to me. It's so safe here. I love it here. Kids are free to be kids. No rapes, murders, thefts...if there is, it's very, very, rare. I'm so paranoid in the states but I feel so free here in Okinawa.

I bought some fresh fish tonight and prepared it with marinade....so good. That's one thing that I am going to miss so much...fresh raw fish that you can just buy, cut into pieces, and eat without worrying about food poisoning. I'm also going to miss natto and food available in small portions.

I talked to my possible future teaching team partner at church today. She's so sweet. I really hope I got the job...I think I did. We'll see. I will pretty much be a missionary teacher in a sense. A self-supported missionary teacher. I won't really get paid and my whole purpose of teaching is to share the Word. How exciting! I feel so good knowing that I am living how I truly want to live. Care-free and reliant on Christ. I know that the enemy will want to knock me from my place but I will have to fight. I have never felt so satisfied.

I am going to the states in a week and I know that I am going to be attacked spiritually. I am grateful for my country but some parts of it will get to me. I hope I don't fall into the world's lies.

I give credit to my church and the amazing people there. It's so nice to be able to talk about my spiritual life freely with my friends here. That's the most important part of my life. Praise the Lord for the people around me.

Good news...Jamin might come home a day early which means he'll be at church with me when I lead worship and we can fellowship together with everyone. I pray it happens.

God is Working

2008-04-16T22:57:00.003-04:00

How He has Blessed Me:
-I went to a birthday party and had wonderful fellowship and met a bunch of new people.
-I am getting more involved with church, leading worship on Fridays and Wednesdays.
-I am no longer pre-diabetic and my Hemoglobin AC1 levels are down because I worked hard and ate right.
-I applied at OCSI and I have a good feeling about the job. They are speeding up my hiring process to get back to me ASAP.
-I have accepted that I won't be making much money at OSCI. More importantly, I have taken a leap of faith and placed my priorities where they need to be.
-God has changed so much of my life by closing and opening doors and I can hear Him. I am following.
-I feel closer to Him and I am learning how to breathe and let Him take control.
-I have a wonderful church and I am surrounded by people who understand God and strive to live every second for Him.
-I am even more in love with my husband. (This is a reoccurring blessing)
-I finally got my sleep test over with.
-I get to be with Cassandra in about 2 weeks!
-I haven't felt down in a long time.
Praise the Lord!

An Update in my Random Life

2008-04-06T09:05:00.002-04:00

The Denise Separation:
So, I had been looking for a treadmill for months...I finally found one, went to the owner's house, we chit-chatted and the dude ended up giving it to me for FREE! Praise the LORD! It works great and folds up and everything. I decided that I needed to sweat more and get more cardio in so I'm using the treadmill instead of hanging with Denise Austin (for now). She's great for starting out, light workouts and toning but I need to sweat more.

Hot...Hot Pink:
My hair is finally herself. She is partially hot pink and although she keeps me busy with touch-ups, I love her. I bought a wig online recently for graduation. I contemplated graduating in all of my pink-ness but I don't want to offend any contributers to the college. My hair is not an act of rebellion, it is an expression. We'll see if the wig works.

My Honey Home:
Jamin came home for about a week and it was bliss. I surprised him with the carpet I put in the house and his decorated office. I also painted a picture for him but I can't post it now...my camera is broken. He was really happy to see that I didn't sit on my butt the whole time he was gone. I don't think that I sit on my butt too often. When he was in D.C, I was going through grad school, now I'm busy with leading worship, working out, and just enjoying life. Busy is key.

A New Ride:
Jamin and I got bikes! Well, his broke and we returned it but mine is intact. I LOVE IT! I decked it out with a basket, bell, cup holder, and mirror. I now ride it to the grocery store, local shops, and restaurants near my house. I love living in the city. A lot of locals also ride bikes and their bikes always have baskets. There's no point in driving unless it's raining which is often this season.

Rubik, I'm Obsessed with You:
So I got a cheap Rubik's Cube at the 100 yen store and I have finally mastered it. It's hard to move so I can't wait to get a REAL Rubik's cube. It took a lot of practice and memorization but I can solve it in 22 minutes...but that's while fast walking at 3.5 speed on a treadmill. It's so addicting.

Beach Baptism:
I went to a mass baptism at the beach today with my church. It was so beautiful. The forecast said that it would thunderstorm but the whole afternoon was sunny as sunny could be. Praise the Lord!

God's Plan?:
I think that I'm definitely going to apply to OCSI. I always thought God planned for me to teach inner city schools (and I have) but perhaps he's got other plans now. I think that the key to realizing God's plans for you is to be OPEN. I believe that He will use you in so many amazing ways if you LET him. I have been struggling with that...I was so set on teaching in "public inner city schools" and I think that I really limited God. OCSI is basically a ministry, the kids their go to learn English and some eventually get saved. They mostly come from non-Christian homes and I can relate. I thought about it and prayed about it and I feel that since I don't HAVE to work for us to eat, I might as well use my talents for reaching others to Christ. I was set on teaching for DOD schools because financially it is great and the benefits are also great...but then my motives don't seem to pure, right? This is God's life, not mine. We'll see how it goes...we'll see where God takes me. My pastor preached about gifts this morning and talked about how our gifts are for God and how we can find out gifts by looking at what we already possess. Well, let's see, I went to a BIBLE college and got a TEACHING degree and I am ACSI CERTIFIED and this is an ACSI SCHOOL. Hmm...and, I'm HERE in Japan and it's like 20 minutes from my house. I don't think that I should NOT apply. My Pastor also hinted at working at the church and doing children's ministry and the like. He's on the school board of OCSI and joked that if I gave my application to him, he'd burn it and then the "door would be closed" and I could work for the church. He also said that he would let me keep my hair pink and my nose ring...very tempting.

"So you think that only skinny girls are pretty?" She responded, "yes."

2008-03-22T07:23:00.007-04:00

Today was a lovely day so I went walking around the shopping centers this afternoon in Naha. As I was walking, I overheard a conversation taking place directly behind me. It was a couple which consisted of a military guy and a local Japanese girl. Blending in with all of the locals around me, I suspected that they assumed I didn't understand English. The guy was talking to his girlfriend and asking her, "So you think that only skinny girls are pretty?" She responded, "yes." He asked, "So you think that fat people are ugly?" She replied, "yes". He then began to talk to her about how she was mis-judging people by relying on their outside appearance. I don't know if he got upset or not but they quickly turned around and he walked her back to where they were before. I couldn't help but think, "does she think I'm ugly?", because I was not as skinny as she was. I then continued shopping and was reminded of how messed up fashion can be in Japan. The Japanese girl behind me thought that fat people were ugly because that is what is portrayed to her. I respect my host-country and all, but they've got some issues. Take for example some pictures I scanned from a fashion magazine I bought:

First, the nails. How can you function with these nails? Having really long nails that are heavily decorated is really popular here. Can you imagine all the dirt and grime that gets stuck in that?

Second, the shoes. It's sad watching girls walk in the mall and in the street. They wear shoes are too big for them, even boots, and they walk like they are in pain, like someone gave them the biggest wedgie of their lives. I'm not trying to make fun of these "fashionable" girls. I just think it is ridiculous to suffer for fashion. People walk a lot in Japan and you should see some of these people walking. They stumble and kind of drag their feet (probably because the shoes are too big). I have a lot of shoes...and let me tell you, if my shoes hurt...I don't wear them. Each shoe has a time limit (depending on the style and height) and if I think I'm going to be gone for over that time limit, I bring an extra pair of shoes. Why do these people choose to suffer like this? Well, it's because it's part of the society. This brings me to the third issue: dieting.

After her diet she weights 79 pounds? And look at her before pic, she's not even fat. The girl is medically underweight. And what happened to her arm? That's just sick. You shouldn't want to lose muscle to be skinnier. You need muscle. The full body picture of this girl in a bra and underwear are pretty sad. I just want to give her a protein bar. I think that the arm picture is photo-shopped but the point is that these girls are faced with these images everyday. In all of the drugstores I go to, they have diet pills and meal plans. The meal plans consist of eating soups that are 10-30 calories each. Anorexic victims take in about the same amount of calories as these diet meal plans. It's so sad that people are willing to stave themselves and endanger their bodies with pills to match these so-called models. I've seen some of these girls working in the stores and some of them just look so weak. There's "naturally skinny" and then there's "I haven't eaten and I have no muscle left skinny". Brazil is the worst country when it comes to eating disorders and since the death of a supermodel (due to an eating disorder), people have been more aware and trying to do something about it. I used to think that America was bad when it came to extreme dieting but in actuality, a lot of America needs to start exercising with the weight-related diabetes that we have going on.
I was talking to a girl who lived in Tokyo today and she told me that the suicide rate is very high there. She suspects that since there are so many people who live in such a small place, there is a lack of identity. She told me that there is really no love expressed there and you can't really be "different" because Japanese culture is all about being artsy and different. I recently realized that since living here, I have also lost a sense of "identity" when it comes to fashion. They have a lot of the same thing everywhere and everyone is obsessed with it. I actually buy some of my clothes online from the states because I feel so "cloned" if I buy something here.
If you know me, you know that I love fashion and expressing who you are in your clothes. But really, fashion isn't everything. It should be an expression, not an obsession. It shouldn't determine how you act or what you think about yourself. It should reflect how you act and how you feel.
Don't suffer for fashion. If your shoes hurt, take them off or change them. If your stomach is growling, eat something. If you feel like you are gaining excess fat, work out. If someone tells you that you are ugly, say "SCREW YOU!" No really, if someone says that you are ugly take comfort in knowing that the Greatest Love of All Died for you to pay your debt. Happy Easter.

Another Lovely Day

2008-03-19T05:03:00.004-04:00

Today was a really nice day. It didn't really rain and today marks that Jamin will be home in one week! I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and just be with him. The sad thing is, is that we found out that he is going to be gone in April so he will only be home for one week. Again I suck it up, shed a few tears and move on. I hold on to the fact that children in East Timor will now have a school to be educated at because my husband help built it.

My lovely day started early this morning at 12 am-2:30am when I got to talk to Jacki and Cassandra for a long time. I love my friends...they are the best thing about me. I can't wait to see everyone in a month! I slept after I got off of the phone with Cassandra and then woke up 5 hours later to go to the doctor. I've never really dealt with military doctors before so I was nervous that I wouldn't get the attention I would from a private practice. When my doctor came in, he was wearing the uniform that Jamin wears everyday so that threw me off. I was expecting a doctor's lab coat and thought, "you're a Marine, do you even have a medical license?" Anyway, my doctor was really nice and he listened to me and answered all of my questions (I am REALLY good at asking questions when I'm at the doctors...I always make a list before I go...you should too because you are paying for their service). He gave me a blood test (for sugar) and he even referred me to a sleep center...I can FINALLY get my sleep monitored and tested. I was supposed to get tested the summer of 2006 but it would cost $3,000 and insurance wouldn't cover. My doc found that my oxygen intake was decreasing during sleep and I would get these weird heart palpitations. My new doc said that if it's not sleep apnea, it could be an anxiety-stress issue. He said that the heart palpitations could be from releasing too much adrenaline in my sleep. I had never heard of this before but it makes soooooo much sense and I think that could be the cause of my heart palpitations. I am a very intense person. Anyone who knows me knows that. I can stress and worry WAY TOO MUCH. During my visit, I was also given a new sugar monitor and a new prescription for test strips. I love it when I have a productive doctor appointments!

After this I went to the commissary (military grocery store), my favorite Japanese grocery store and the 100 yen store. I bought two rolls of sushi for 1.99 and savored it for lunch. For the rest of the afternoon I washed/folded clothes and switched out the bedding. I am now eating dinner with consists of a rice noodle salad made with creamy ginger-sesame Japaneses dressing, peas, sun-dried tomato, and smoked salmon. I made everything from scratch and it tastes so good! I'm glad I don't hate my cooking.

Well, I still have the rest of the night. I may touch-up/color my hair and workout. I've found a lot of gray hairs lately on my head. Jamin says that gray hairs represent wisdom and he would like to go gray. I, on the other hand, feel that I may dye my hair forever. And when my hair is all gray...it will be that much easier to dye it pink because I won't have to bleach.

I wonder who actually reads my blog. I know Cassandra does...I love you Cassandra.

Loving Life

2008-03-13T05:57:00.004-04:00

So these past two days in Japan have been absolutely beautiful. Today was especially beautiful because I was productive and living life. I even created a new piece of art! I'll reveal it later on Facebook. Painting is so soothing to me.
Now that I am adjusted to Japanese traffic, I am enjoying Japan more than ever. I have my little stores that I go to for certain things and I love driving with the windows down with weather as beautiful as today. I am more earth-friendly (with the encouragement of Japan) and I shop with my nylon reusable shopping bags. They are also brightly colored which is way more fun than white plastic bags. I love walking around the city in my Vibram Frive Fingers (the shoes that look like toe socks) because they are so comfortable and I feel like I am almost barefoot. Although people assuming I can speak their language is annoying at times, I like blending in because I don't feel too out of place since I usually go off base to shop. I also love Wednesdays, because on Wednesdays, the Japanese grocery store that I go to has great 99 yen sales (99 cents). Sushi rolls are 99 yen a piece! That's so cheap!
On base I love the library because I am always checking out DVD's for free. I have seen so many movies lately and I'm finally making up for all the years I didn't watch movies. I still have a problem with watching the same movie twice within 5-10 years though.
Another thing I love is knowing that I live on the 5th floor. When I haven't done cardio for the day, I balance out my shopping bags and walk the 5 flights of stairs. Let me tell you, I end up breathing hard every time but then I feel good for giving my heart and body that little exercise.
I have also made some more hang-out buddies so I don't get too lonely. Some things have been stressing me, like waiting for a huge reimbursement from the government, and I often flip out when Jamin's there...but then later I calm down and realize that really, I'm blessed.

I don't have too much to complain about (even though I'm really good at complaining). I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a wonderful husband and marriage, awesome loyal friends, and God who loves me so very much.

These "joyful" moments aren't always realized in my life often. Hopefully I can be more aware of God's blessings in my life.

Smiles

2008-03-08T02:55:00.002-05:00

I got am e-mail from a lady who updates us military wives while our husbands are gone. He is an excerpt:

"Those of us embarked on the Harper’s Ferry operated in an area called Ternate , also on Luzon . We lived on a Philippine Marine Corps Base and conducted humanitarian-focused missions at a nearby high school. Specifically, our Engineers replaced the roof and conducted other repairs on a high school building that had previously been gutted by fire. Under a tight timeline, they worked day and night to finish the work. Meanwhile, our HSS platoon and many augments conducted a medical and dental clinic for residents in the area. Over three days, they treated 2,500 people with limited access to medical and dental care. Our Chaplain also organized community relations events that involved playing with local kids and distributing free clothing."

The bold part is the project that Jamin led. I am so proud of my husband!

Polluted

2008-02-29T06:47:00.005-05:00

I was on Facebook and saw a link for a Facebook page that I had seen on MySpace. You can go to this Facebook page and see pictures...pictures of daughters belonging to Christ that I would not want my brothers of Christ seeing. They are not daughters representing Christ, but still, they are His, whether they want to realize it or not.

These girls have fallen for vain and lessened their self-respect. I know it's everywhere. I know that people all over the world are immodest. I also know that their are cultural explanations for some immodesty. I also know that for girls, it's tempting for us to feel "sexy" and "beautiful". I go shopping and always see the cutest outfits and think, "That would be so cute!" I am also thinking about how the outfit would make me look really "attractive" and "sexy" and an "attention grabber". But then I come back to realization and think about what I am doing to my brothers.

Don't get me wrong, I wore a strapless dress for my wedding and sometimes I do in the summer. I also wear spaghetti straps occasionally. I try to make sure that nothing is hanging out before I leave the house (my husband helps me out). I am also not perfect. What I'm talking about is all of these indecent pictures that are posted on the internet. Girls that are half dressed, posing in a seductive manner. Girls like the attention, they want to be lusted after...and lusted after is what they get. And the lust from the guys leads to sin and then the guys find themselves trapped and addicted to thinking impure thoughts about their sisters who belong to Christ.

When girls (in or out of Christ) do this (especially on places like MySpace), they disrespect themselves, their significant others (if they have any), their brothers (because they are leading them to sin), their brother's significant others (if they have any), and our God. I wonder how God feels seeing His children fall into lust, sin, and addiction. Actually, I don't have to wonder.

I remember as a freshman, coming to JBC, naive, and getting into trouble with the RA's for being "immodest". I thought the rules were stupid. But over time, I could see what my brothers were going through and I finally woke up. I realized that I was contributing to the problem.

Even now, even with other JBCers, I see people posting pictures of themselves in bikinis. You might as well be wearing a bra and underwear. I am not trying to attack anyone. I'm just saying, "be considerate".

Right now I am working out...a lot. I want a flat tummy for once in my life. And if/when I get the body I like...you bet I'm going to want to get a bikini and represent a good body. But am I? No...as tempting as it will be to feel all "sexy" and "hot"...I can't. Heck, my husband goes crazy if I even wear a denim skirt! I don't want to imagine what thoughts are going on when a guy stares at me in a bikini. I also reserve all of that for my one and only, Jamin. I am his and he is mine and we like it that way.

Jamin and I have talked about this numerous of times. Mainly because I have trust-issues and I'm very defensive. As a husband and wife we have a system to keep ourselves in check when it comes to temptation in the areas of pornography and things the like. And let me tell you, no matter how "perfect" you think your marriage is, the temptation is there...it's every-freakin'-where. Men are wired so differently, girls. I don't know why God made them that way but that's the way they are and it is a reality. This is also another reason wives should do all that they can to keep their men happy. Don't be sluggish with your health and appearance over the years...they appreciate it when you try to look your best. And keep the love going! Go on dates! Make love! Yeah, I said it...MAKE LOVE. Don't deprive your husbands. And if you've got issues, then COMMUNICATE and figure it out. If you don't, your heart will be filled with resentment and it will affect your marriage...for the worse.
Ok, I think that I am done. It's amazing how one Facebook ad can get you riled.

Billy is a Swell Guy Too

2008-02-24T00:55:00.002-05:00

I went to the PX last night and found some Tae Bo DVD's for cheap! I got 2 for $5! I tried the Total Body Fat Blaster today and it was really fun. Billy Blanks is really motivational and I felt like I was at a Gospel Church Service. He even yelled, "Thank you Jesus!". I found out later that he is a Christian and even has a Christian workout series. His adopted daughter is on most of his videos and it's neat watching them interact. I have to admit that he kicked my butt...but that's good. I don't really want to look like the women on the Tae Bo DVDs because they are too muscle-bulky but the DVD is great for cardio.

As most of you know from the news, the military has asked military members and family to stay on base and only go off base for education, worship, medical, or work purposes. They are doing this because of the recent controversy about the suspected rape of a local girl.

Because of this I have been feeling a little trapped but working out has been my outlet and new "thing". Hopefully this is something that sticks. I usually get into a "workout mode" for several weeks and then something takes me away from it. I hope this one stays. Maybe when I see dramatic results, I'll be even more motivated. One thing that is exciting about the Tae Bo DVDs is that Jamin is more likely to do them with me. He's never too interested in Denise Austin.

You Decide '08

2008-02-20T10:26:00.002-05:00

I was doing some research on the candidates on OnTheIssues.Org and quite frankly I'm worried. I was looking through the issues asking myself what Jesus would think about the decisions these people were making. I know that we are never going to have a perfect president and I know that God isn't going to leave us if we vote for the wrong guy. I just get really concerned because I feel that my vote should reflect what I believe as a person and as a person I am a follower of Christ. I don't know why I am so into politics but I think it's because I have a voice in the issue. And as a follower of Jesus, I should do what I can on this Earth to better the world...to be an example and reflect who He is...to do what I can, I guess. I'm not the type to just sit back and be like, ok, whatever...it doesn't matter. I know it's just a vote...but still, it's something. I've been trying to evaluate my life and make the little things count. I have tried to stress less...but for some reason I have cared more about the little things...but in the end I don't feel like it's so bad. I guess I just want to live like Jesus would want me to. Back to the political thing...I don't believe that there is a "complete and correct" political party. Democrat, Republican, Independent...whatever. Conservative, Moderate, Liberal...whatever...they are sometimes just labels. I just want to choose what I think Jesus would have me choose. Some think that Jesus would have them not vote. I think He'd have me be involved somehow...but that's what Him and I have concluded. Some say Jesus was a pacifist, some say He wasn't, some say this and some say that. I can't speak for everyone. I can only speak for my personal relationship with Him and what I've gathered from His Word. I hate how I feel like it sometimes has to boil down to the "lesser of two evils". I just hope that I can make a decision this election.

How I Met Jamin (Q&A)

2008-02-18T06:38:00.003-05:00

1. Where did you meet?
In the Alumni Memorial Chapel (the freshman chapel where we sang a Capella hymns with Dave Wheeler...I think)

2. What was the first thought that went through your head when you met?
"Wow he's really cute. I need to flirt with this guy."

3. Do you remember what he/she was wearing?
A suit. We were supposed to wear chapel attire but Jamin busted out a suit instead.

4. Where was the first time you kissed this person?
This could sound incriminating. My brother's bed.

5. How did he/she ask you out?
He wrote me a long letter describing his love for me and asked me if I would court him. It was really romantic and I read the letter to half of the girl's dorm before I decided on my answer.

6. Where did you go for your first date?
For our first real date we went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

7. How long did you know this person before you became a couple?
About 3.5 years.

8. Has this person ever proposed to you?
Yes :) And He always thanks me for marrying him and I respond, "You're the one who asked!"

9. Do you and this person have kids together?
Not yet, but I can't wait till we start a family!

10. Have you ever broken the law with this person?
Hmm...I don't think any major laws.

11. When was the first time you realized that you liked this person?
I don't know when I "realized" exactly. I mean, I KNEW that I loved him romantically after the first 2 weeks of dating (which was very challenging because we were such good friends) but before that, it was like a logical progression of thought that encouraged me to ask him, "Why aren't we dating? We are always together and we're best friends. Why don't we give it a try? Why don't you like me like that?"

12. Do you get along with any of the ex's of your partner?
I would say so. I mean, she's not my best buddy or anything but she hasn't given me a reason to not like her.

13. Do you trust this person?
Yes, and that's RARE.

14. Do you see your partner in your future?
Until we're old and dusty.

15. Whats the most expensive thing this person has given you?
Hmm...gift-wise I'd say my engagement ring but he's given me a car, a roof over my head, and so much more! He's a hard working man who brings home the bread.

16. What is one thing he/she does that gets on your nerves?
He has the worst movie pausing skills. I mean, when he pauses a movie, it's at the WORST part of the scene. I mean, let the scene play out! It's usually mid-sentence or something like that.

17. What is the thing you do that gets on his/her nerves?
Criticize my physical appearance.

18. Where do you see each other 15 years from now?
Married with a bunch of kids with unique names and fun-colored hair, living near a Marine Base, staying young and adventurous.

19. What's the most special thing about this person?
He's Jamin. He's my closet companion. He's my best friend. He's my husband. He's loving, caring, nurturing, hard-working, considerate, and loves the Lord.

20. Do you love him/her?
So much that my heart feels like it's too big for my chest.

*
Dear Lord,
Thank you for my wonderful husband!
Amen!

10 Reasons Why I Love Denise Austin

2008-02-17T06:41:00.002-05:00

I just bought 2 more Denise Austin DVDs because I have been so pleased with the ones that I own. In case you don't know, Denise Austin is a well-known aerobics instructor who makes workout videos allowing people to workout in the privacy of their own home. I love her. And here are 10 reasons why:

1. She gives me privacy.
Instead of driving to the gym and having to workout in front of other people, including guys, I can workout alone-doing and wearing whatever I want. I can just wear a sports bra and shorter shorts to stay cool and no one has to see me. I can also play my own music to her videos...and again, no one has to see me.

2. She's the perfect personal instructor.
She's always encouraging and she says funny things like, "burn that butter!", "...so when you wave goodbye nothing jiggles...", "no more bra over-hang!", and "...sexy arms!" I can also yell at her if I am frustrated and she still smiles. If I need her to wait, I can push pause and she waits. She also works out with me...unlike Mari Winsor in her Winsor Pilates Video. I can't handle a live person instructing me while I work out. I just get mad and don't feel motivated.

3. She gives me options.
I only have 2 DVDs but the options are plenty! I can customize my own workouts by saving changes on the DVD player and she also gives me workouts that she customized for me. I can sometimes choose what music I want, if I even want music, or if I want her talking or not.

4. She knows that she's doing.
She's been around for years, is a member of the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, has written books, and has a bunch of satisfied, committed fans. Her DVDs are organized and she includes whole workouts including stretches.

5. She's not trying to rob you.
Denise's DVDs cost as little as 9 bucks and go up to 14 dollars. She doesn't sell these huge DVD packages that you have to buy to get the whole workout. You buy one DVD for cheap and you're usually set. I have to admit that I think some of her clothing line is pricey but her most valuable product is her DVD workout collection.

6. She keeps her promises.
Her DVDs work. It really depends on if you are willing to do them. Workouts can be as little as 10 minutes. I did them in college and my body became more tone and I lost weight. Recently, I have been more committed (no college/job/live-in husband)and I feel more tone and healthy. My sugar has gone down (I have pre-diabetes) and I just feel better. Her workouts also make me sweat and I know that means something.

7. She's consistent and emphasizes staying fit naturally.
She works out 30 minutes and day and never skips meals. She emphasizes portion control and prefers real sugar and butter over artificial substitutes. She's also not anorexic looking. She's fit, tone, and healthy!

8. She cares about others.
She has videos for kids and pregnant women! I can't wait till I get pregnant and have kids...I definitely want to get those videos.

9. She seems to have a clean slate.
I've tried to find "dirt" on her but I can't find any. She's had a long, successful business and has helped so many people.

10. She doesn't care what people think about her.
You should watch these videos...they can be extremely cheesy. She's always really happy and is very peppy. But does she care? No. she encourages you anyway (no matter how corny or creepy) and it actually works.

Thanks Denise.

105 Facts A Long Blog (Happy Cassandra?)

2008-02-08T23:20:00.001-05:00

105 Facts About You

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring? Yes, and I still wear it!

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? The one I'm in now...almost 2.5 years.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Shoes and a dress/shirt from Indonesia. (From Jamin)

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Of course.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Yesterday.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Food and Shoes.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Chocolate Chip Cookie w/out the Chocolate Chips (I pick them out if I can).

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? That he is not as amazing as my husband.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? "Deathbed" by Reliant K...not the biggest Reliant K fan but this song makes me wanna cry.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Japan

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: BJHS

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: SoftBank...what a random question.

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: RAVE (is it still around?), Forever 21, Wet Seal

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Computer Lab Assistant

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? Yes

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: I used to until i grew up.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: Um...I think my brother in law's...I think.

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: Cassandra

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: 1 week ago-my hubby, my Best Pal, 2.5 months ago, Best Buddy, 2.5 months ago...etc.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: Hmm...I don't really like Fast Food...but I do have a thing for Sonic's Cheesy Fries.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: "There is no God."

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? In Knoxville it would be any sushi place. In Japan it would be...I guess any sushi place.

24. CAN YOU COOK? My husband seems to think so. I love it!

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE? Toyota FunCargo

26. BEST KISSER: Jamin...duh.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: The night before last.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: This is rare...but waterchestnuts, watermelon, and fresh ginger slices (the ones they serve with sushi.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: Hmm...the fact that I'm Jamin's wife, and Casssandra's, Emily's, Linnea's, Rachel's, and Jacki's friend. Basically, the fact that I have such amazing people in my life.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I worry/stress too much and I'm hard on myself.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: 16 hours...being a teacher all day then working at the fall festival...then shutting the place down...

33. FAVORITE MOVIE? That's a hard one. I really enjoyed V for Vendetta.

34. CAN YOU SING? I guess I can...that's not a good question to ask ME.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? It's been toooooooooooo long. I miss concerts.

36. LAST KISS? When Jamin left for Thailand.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: Alice in Wonderland

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: Cell Phone

39. FAVORITE vacation spot: Not sure...I like going to Texas to visit family.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: Desktop for now...waiting for my account to say, "Yes! Go buy that Apple MacBook Pro!"

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: I dunno...my friends sure make me laugh a lot. Maybe the handful of professors I had that were really unique.

45. DO YOU SMOKE? No,

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? None of your business! Mixed company could be reading this!

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: My blankie, a buckwheat pillow, and a really buff guy who's 6 feet 2 inches and takes up a lot of room...when he's not here, I have my huggy pillow.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: Yes...but you have work hard. I'm in a close-sometimes-long distance relationship.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? None.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? A little of both...but I prefer eggs and toast.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: Yes, but it hurts my stomach sometimes.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Over-Easy.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: Some woman at the Onslow County Office.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: Rayma

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: "Hey buddy!....etc." From Rayma

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: 2 sometimes 3

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Warm and cozy PJ's

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: "And I know that I am blessed, beyond what I can see..."

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?: I think Grape.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: I try.

63. CAN YOU SWIM? Yes.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Melted Cookie Dough (so I can eat just the Cookie Dough), Melted Sweet Cream (From Marble Slab), Vanilla or Cookies and Cream Dippin Dots, my my fav is softened Japanese Mochi Ice Cream (Vanilla, Green Tea, and Red Bean. I don't really like Ice Cream Solid.

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? Love 'em!

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I am afraid of flesh-eating bacteria...terrified of it and I always wash my hands when I think I've touched something that may have it and I also hold my breath around an object if I think that it is infected with it. I know...I'm nuts.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: Yes...I love theme parties.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON: Spring

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? Last night.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? 12:15 pm. I know, late.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: Boots and Jackets.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: When I hit a car.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Don't remember.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: Overrated.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? Celebrating V-day with my Husband.

78. BIRTHDATE: Twelve-Twelve

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: Me...and a teacher, and a mommy, and an artist.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: No.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?: No.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: Yes.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Tokyo, Iceland, Europe, gee, I want to go everywhere.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: Puh-leez!

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: Yes, but he already knows about it and asked me to be his wife.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Azariah-my son's future name.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: black/red

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: No! HAHA!!!!!! I may teach in a school though...but I won't be a student!

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: Yes...still on it.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: Yes...and I loved it.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER: Many in Christ.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: 5th Floor

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: Yes...more everyday.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Yes.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? Yes...my husband...I will in about 4 hours!!!

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? 8 earrings, nose screw, belly ring, wedding band, engagement ring, 2 friendship rings

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Shower and run errands and meet my hubby.

Insomnia

2008-02-08T11:09:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep again. I mean, I don't take naps...and I don't get up THAT late...and I went to the gym today. Maybe I'm just anxious about seeing Jamin tomorrow. I hope he arrives safely. At night, I usually read or play guitar and sing for God until I get sleepy...then I turn out my night light and I sit there thinking and thinking...about what?

Well...random things.

Like how much my wedding bothers me...not the part where I married the man God made for me but how I didn't like the photography and how my digital camera wasn't working right and how I hated the reception and how my mom thought SHE was getting married instead of me. I keep saying, "I'm over it." I'm not.

I also think about awful things and imagine them actually happening and then all of a sudden I realize that my ears are wet from tears falling down my face.

I also talk out loud, to God and whoever else is listening. I say things like, "stupid reception!", "the digital photos sucked!", "go to sleep Crystal!", "I don't get people, Lord!"

I also try to count sheep...and that never works.

My notebook is in my car...I need to get it so that I can write out my mind.

Despite all of this...I end up going to bed...goodnight.

Dear Lord, Thank You for Skype...

2008-01-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about what I was grateful for and few things came into my head. One, is how my husband came back from his trip safely. Every time he gets back from a trip and I hug his warm body, I say a prayer thanking God for protecting my husband. Two, I thank God for a roof over my head and food in my belly. Three, I thank God for Skype. Skype is a super program that allows me to talk to my friends and family for free if they have Skype too .Because of Skype (and web cams), I can see and talk to the people I love even though I am on the other side of the world. Cassandra and I talk about 5 times a week! And we thought that we would be saying things like "I'll call you on your birthday". If my friends or family don't have Skype, I can call their phones for 2 cents a minute (with a 3 cent connections fee)! I also get to call toll free numbers for free (which is great because you can't call toll free numbers with calling cards). So, thanks to Skype, I don't feel so far away from those that I love.

Sticky Fingers and Road Kill

2008-01-23T23:34:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have noticed a couple things about myself...really weird things. The first thing is my inability to have sticky fingers and hands. I mean, I like to get my hands messy (like kneading dough when baking) but when I'm eating candy, snacks, or any type of food, I HAVE to have a napkin. And if my hands are sticky...I NEED a wet wipe. I can't stand my hands being sticky...it drives me nuts. Why is this you ask? Well, have you heard of behavioral conditioning? When I was a child, my mom always had a damp towel and sat next to me while I was eating. Well, I remember grabbing a piece of my food and putting it in my mouth and before I could grab another piece of food, my mom would wipe my hand down with the towel. I never had sticky hands! I also never had a snotty face or a face covered in food. I was pretty spotless my entire childhood life. Congratulations mom, I am now a freak...I love you anyway. :)
The second thing deals with road kill. I was driving the roads of Japan the other day and I noticed a dead cat in the road. This is first road kill that I had witnessed since being here so I realized that I had held my breath while driving pass or over the deceased animal. I thought, "That's weird." but I remembered that every time I drive pass or over road kill, I hold my breath. Why? I have some weird belief that if I breathe near dead animals, I will somehow inhale the bacteria growing on them and get sick. Even when I'm in the moving car with the windows up. I always hold my breath around dirty things because I don't want to inhale bacteria, not becasue I'm afraid that it will stink.

Internet Shopping and This "Job" Thing

2008-01-18T00:40:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I'm written. I'm in Japan now and I LOVE my new home. My body is aching a bit since I've been going to the gym but I need to go to the gym becasue I LOVE eating Japanese food.

Since I can't buy many products from Japan, and I love getting things in the mail, I've resorted to internet shopping...and I'm diggin' it.

I have finally purchased the shoes that I have wanted since I read about them in TIME magazine: The Vibram Five Fingers. I can't wait to get them...they are supposed to be really comfortable and "free". I'm going to get some for Jamin after I try them out.

I also finally bought some new glasses from 39dollarglasses.com. And I have to say...buying eyeglasses online is so much cheaper! They even give me free shipping becasue I'm military. 39 bucks for an extra pair of glasses? So worth it.

I've been bookmarking my favorite stores in my "shopped folder". I'm always looking for stores that send to military overseas address. Sometimes internet shopping is almost better than going to the mall. I really hope that this doesn't cause an addiction...especially with buying shoes. I'm ordered 6 pairs since being here and I told Jamin I wasn't going to buy any until Valentine's Day (The Vibram Five Fingers are my V-day present).

So...since I've been here, I've been asked "Did you find a job?" or "Are you teaching yet?" about 50 times. Frankly, I'm enjoying Japan right now...and I'm still recovering from college. I'm not trying to be lazy here. I just need a breather...I have hobbies...I need to chill and enjoy life! I'm tried of stressing. Really. I am being pro-active about getting a job...just at my own pace. Since some Europe DOD schools shut down, some of those teachers will be transferred here, making getting a job more challenging. I am considering a local Christian school and I will substitute with DOD schools to get my foot in the door.

As for now, I am going to take cake decorating classes to get certified in the states, going to the gym, and practicing guitar to get my calluses back since I'm going to lead worship at my church. I'm also in love with Skype and more in love with Jamin everyday. Jamin will be busy this year doing a lot of humanitarian work like building schools in countries in the Pacific. It's nice to know that Jamin loves his job so much...I'm really proud of him.

Rent-A-Life

2007-08-17T18:13:00.000-04:00

So, I finally saw my new classroom and I've been working on it. It is pretty much ready...

My classroom is not my own (interim position), my house is not my own (including everything in it), and my car is not my own (it's rented.)

This all reminds me that that well...my life is not my own either. It's God's and I need to take care of it.

Blessings:
1) The teacher that I am long-time subbing for is VERY organized and detailed. She wrote all the lessons for me and gave me a "survival notebook". Less Stress...Yes!

2)I'm getting better at driving...not as terrified.

3)Emily and Chase came to visit and we had a blast. It's so awesome to find a couple that Jamin and I get hang with.

4)I am challenged and it's changing me...it's helping me to trust God.

5) I love my husband more and more everyday. He's my best friend and we have so much fun hanging out.

6) I have discovered that downtown Wilmington rocks my socks...it's full of art and they film so much stuff there!

Somebody Stop the Paperwork!

2007-08-08T13:30:00.000-04:00

So yeah...
I'm tired of paperwork. I mean, I'm excited about Japan and everything but seriously...the paperwork is getting to me. I've been driving around base trying to get things done and I can almost say that this is worse than applying for jobs...it's about as bad as taking a PRAXIS test...almost. I have to see doctors...get records...do online training thingys and get shots. Since I'm starting work next week, I'm trying to get all of this done ASAP. I screamed in Jamin's shoulder to get the stress out...I think it worked.

Complex

2007-07-26T14:58:00.000-04:00

So I don't cry. But last night I cried a lot...like a baby.

I have no idea why I cried.

I do know that I have a complex of feeling a little lost. I keep wanting to enroll in college and take classes. It's like I'm not used to relaxing. I mean, I feel like I'm stressing out about not being stressed out. It's like I'm going through stress-withdrawal.

I haven't heard from the DOD schools yet about being a teacher's aide or substituting and well, I'm kind of freaking out. Not that I won't be secure financially...it's just that I worked by butt off for 5 years and I want to use my degree. I just want to use my degree.

I've drawn some pictures and I want to pick up my paint brush soon but even starting that is taking forever. It's like I'm afraid to start my hobbies because I feel like I will have to stop them for some reason.

Sigh...I need to get over this.

It's been busy...and peaceful.

2007-07-18T08:49:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile since I've written. When I left JBC, I went to Quantico where I got food poisoning and totaled my car. When I got to North Carolina, I found the Bailey Clan staying at my house for a week, got bashed in the head by a surfboard and then my brother and sister in law stayed with us for an additional week becasue their house had mold (and she's pregnant).
Jamin and I are finally alone and settling into our home (after 2 weeks of being here). I am learning how to relax and it's hard because I keep making tasks for me to do. Jamin goes to work each day and I clean, do large puzzles in one sitting, cook (which I love), talk to God and relax. I'm such a busy body that all of this stuff is really hard for me...but I NEED it.
We have been blessed with a nice home next to the Beach and I'm hoping that all of my family and friends will come visit soon!
God is good and faithful and He's working with me.

What's More Important

2007-06-17T19:13:00.000-04:00

So I decided that my availability for working in Japan will be in November, when Jamin goes over there. I want to fly over there with him and share that experience and we've been apart for way too long. I have a choice now, and I choose to be with the love of my life until we are both ready to go to Japan. I may get a local job in North Carolina and do some art and music on the side. Although I am tempted to do more schooling, I'm done for now. I need to take what I've learned and just be active. I have been in school for about 18 years (including pre-school) and I am ready to just do what I love. I want to actually pursue my hobbies. I love teaching and I can't wait to teach but I love my husband more than teaching and I need to be with him for now. Hopefully I can get a job next semester dealing with education in Japan but as for now, I need to relax for a few months. When I do something, I like to do it well and I dedicate a lot of time into it. When I was in school, it was my priority before my own hobbies and interests. It's me time.

Last Class

2007-06-15T00:32:00.000-04:00

I will soon...very soon...in about 7.5 hours...attend my LAST CLASS of COLLEGE. I finally finished my LAST text book reading assignment...and I am on my way to freedom. I can finally breathe and not worry about homework (except for grading my students') for a long time.

As for now, I spend time with friends and prepare to say "see you later". I will also get a nose ring with my wonderful friend Emily (we'll see if I keep it). My calm, laid-back, Officer Marine husband has always wanted me to get one (and he likes my hair pink)...I think it'll be fun.

P.S.: I'm not stupid enough to let it get between me and teaching (for those who are wondering.)

Drama Queens

2007-06-09T22:43:00.000-04:00

Back in the day, Cassandra and I made this video where we would act as each other's voices...it was pretty fun. Check it out...I LOVE the faces Cassandra makes:

For more new videos, check out Tomato In The Grass Productions

2007-06-05T21:08:00.000-04:00

Well, as some of you know, Jamin and I are going to be living in Okinawa, Japan for about 3 years. We put down Okinawa as our first choice and we got it! I am both excited and terrified at the same time. I was born and raised in the states and I've only gone as far as Canada and the Bahamas. I hope that I get a teaching job but if not, I may become an artist or rock star...haha we'll see.

Comfy!

2007-06-03T15:24:00.000-04:00

I got these new sandals in Charleston, SC that I have been wanting for a long time. The last time I saw these at a store they were over priced. I just ordered a pair for Jamin. The one thing I like about this company is that they try to pay the workers who make these shoes fairly and they focus on organic and recyclable goods. These sandals are so comfy and I think that you should definitely try em out. Nomadic State of Mind

Cassandra the Great

2007-05-31T19:26:00.000-04:00

I am currently on a Best Pal Getaway with Cassandra in Charleston, SC. I have no idea what I would have done without Cassandra by my side during undergrad and graduate school. She makes things fun but most of all, she's genuine. She's consistent and trustworthy. I can trust her with so much and she is a true friend. She'd drop whatever she was doing to help me out and she wouldn't talk badly about me behind my back. They say that if you have one true friend in your life then you're truly blessed. Well, I am definitely blessed. Thanks Cassandra.

Oh, another thing, she's really amazing at making funny movies. Here's one called "A Little Ditty". Cassandra was in my room trying on my clothes and wigs and this is what happened:

My Mom Says that You Should Always Workout

2007-05-29T22:01:00.000-04:00

My mom always tells me to workout. She believes that working out makes you look "good". When I went home recently, she showed me her new workout machine. Impressive...

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As for other news, Cassandra and I are going to South Carolina for our Best Friend Getaway!

Carly is a Star...and a Fawn

2007-05-24T22:21:00.001-04:00

This is part 3 of Cassandra, Carly, and my Malleable Memory Video Project for our Brain-Based Learning Class.

It is a commercial and Carly does a terrific job. John and Joe, the other actors, did a great job too!

Also, I think Carly has beautiful eyes...like a fawn...even more beautiful than Bambi's.

Where My Heart Is

2007-05-22T22:53:00.001-04:00

I always think about my children. Do I have any children? No, but I always think about them. I'm not one of those people obsessed with being pregnant but I hope to one day experience motherhood.

In class we write about our philosophy of education and it reminds me of how much I think about my philosophy of motherhood. For me, my philosophy of education deals with my philosophy of motherhood because I believe that mothers are their child's greatest educator (along with the father).

I do not believe that all should home-school or that everyone can but I hope to school my children one day.

People ask me if I'm worried about their social skills, or if they will become freaks. There are homeschooling groups, churches, and a plethora of social activities (Christian or non-Christian). I also firmly believe that social skills are important. Without social skills, how is one able to communicate the Love and Gospel of Christ?

I personally don't worry too much about how people will view my children if they are home-schooled. My greatest desire is that my children love Christ, understand His teachings, genuinely be examples of Him, and effectively communicate that with others.

*******

What is most important to me?

That my child loves the Lord, understands and applies His teachings, and is able to effectively share His Truth with the world.

*******
I don't want to protect and shelter my children. I want to prepare them.

I am not against public schools...but I believe that if a parent sends their child to public school, they are responsible for educating their child in God's Word. Christian education is essential. It's not the Church's responsibility to teach the Bible to your child. It is your responsibility as a Christian parent to be an example to your child and help him or her understand and apply God's word (of course to a certain extent...you can't be solely responsible for their salvation or relationship with Christ...you can only influence them and be an example).

I want my children to live and experience life. I don't want to hold them up in my home and feed them Bible stories. I want them to do things like take what they study and discuss their studies with pagans or people of other religions. I want them to be challenged and make their learning experience applicable.

All that I have said is not easy. I hope that I can accomplish what I have written. I myself am not perfect but I pray that God guides me as a mother and educator.

Happy Birthday 2 U

2007-05-21T23:43:00.001-04:00

Jamin and I went to Alabama this weekend for his birthday. We had a lot of fun (although our trip was very short). Here are some pictures and a little video of my mom serenading Jamin:

Making Videos Can Be Addicting

2007-05-18T23:01:00.001-04:00

Making videos can be addicting...Cassandra and I have been doing a lot of multi-tasking...preparing our defense while making personal videos for our DVD Scrapbook while uploading new videos for YouTube while adding Blog posts while being best pals while interning while packing our houses for moving.

So...I knew I had Windows Movie Maker but I wasn't sure so I looked for it and found it! It's pretty simple to use and I like it...I also don't have iMovie so it's a good backup program for making videos at home.

I started playing around and decided to make a slide show of my road trip with Jamin. This is the short version...I'll probably make a long personal version later.

I'm also glad that my last class at JBC is one with much room for creativity and technology. Those are two things that I love but never have time to do because I'm always focusing on homework (it's hard for me to move on to a new project without finishing the first). I get so task-oriented that my creativity suffers...now I can do both...AMEN!

Never Breakable

2007-05-15T23:35:00.000-04:00

This weekend Jamin and I decided to go visit my mom. I was a little hesitant to go since Jamin will be getting in at 2am on Friday and his birthday is Saturday...I didn't want him to feel rushed/stressed traveling an extra 4 hours.

But then I remembered all of the fun times I had with my mom...and how she is such a character to be around.

I remember when my mom got this thing...she discovered it at Bath and Body Works. She made an impromptu commercial of what she thought was the best thing ever:

Mona Vu

2007-05-13T19:31:00.000-04:00

Hahaha...so I found this picture yesterday on my web space. I must have been really bored one day using Adobe Photoshop.

Maybe I'll look through my Adobe adventures and find more crazy stuff.

Food Connoisseur

2007-05-09T23:50:00.001-04:00

I Love Food...
not to the point of gluttony
(although at times it is very possible)...
but I appreciate the art of food.
Food is something that I will actually spend money on for the art and experience of it.
I still have a list of restaurants in Knoxville but so far...here are some of the best foods that I have found:
*This won't be true for all because well, my taste buds are not yours.

1. Nama Sushi Bar- Ceviche with Fresh Tuna
2. King Tut's- Greek Salad, Egyptian Sampler, and Basboosa
3. Smoky Mountain Greek Deli- Pikilia
4. Outback Steakhouse- Seared Ahi Tuna <>
5. Naples- Blue Crab Stuffed Portabella Mushroom Over Risotto
6. Bravo Cucina Italiana - Wood Grilled Portobello Mushroom
7. The Lost Savant-Black Bean Burger (especially if Em makes it for me) and Dante's Chips with Guacamole and Hummus
8. SunSpot- Carolina Pan Seared Tilapia and Tofu Tier
9. Tomato Head - Keplar Melt and Lucy Sandwich
10. Wasabi Steakhouse- Tempura Shrimp Roll
11. Smoothie King- 20oz Muscle Punch made with Splenda or Stevia
12. Little Caesar's- Crazy Bread

I still have so much more to try!

Missing Art

2007-05-09T23:49:00.001-04:00

I wish I had more time to take pictures. Here is one of my favorite pics:
I really wish I had the time for photography...for art in general. I love this picture because it is so colorful!

As for art relating to the web...I've been messing around with the HTML coding on the templates and I'm thinking about creating my own. I feel like my HTML knowledge has kind of faded since I stopped making websites. So many things to experiment...so little time!

When We Lived Together

2007-05-07T21:40:00.001-04:00

When Cassandra and I lived together and went through intense summer schooling...we'd find ourselves doing things like this:
For more information about our videos...and another one to enjoy, please visit Cassandra's Blog.